What a terrible night to have eyes.

@samreich.bsky.social I just got my tax refund, which means it's time to sub for another year of Dropout. I remember you saying that if I paid through the website instead of the app store, the team would get more of the money. Is this still true? I want to be sure the cast gets as much as possible.

Seeing a blatant fascist dismantling and takeover of the government and using it as an opportunity to mostly complain about the left or throw trans people under the bus means you're helping them. No other way to slice it.

Fuck. Pour one out for a legend.

Actually, as long as I'm pissing people off today.

Gary Gygax was a shitty person, a substandard novelist, and a middling game designer at best.

Honestly? Fuck them more. They're the ones putting a 'reasonable face' on transphobia.

Sure I do. It's the only correct way to eat Fritos.

God I fucking hate nazis

You can send the pancakes my way. My daughter would eat nothing but pancakes if I let her.

I think instead of saying “namaste” at yoga we should say “ohhh BIG stretch” like we do with our pets

We're glad you're safe and not on fire.

More people need to take Idris Elba's advice

Better than bofa, I guess

okay so im thinking about the clown egg makeup registry again and im thinking what if we did that for juggalos

IMHO it's the best thing Taco Bell has ever made. There's something truly special about the combination of textures and flavors.

Choose your own cravings box: Cheesy Gordita crunch, beefy five layer burrito, fiesta potatoes, baja blast.

"You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who is coming to save you?"

There will probably be complications, but they'll make it in the third act.

I haven't had a bowel movement in 6 days.

@ben.vampirefriday.org @convict24601.bsky.social

If i was the richest guy in the world i would just do stuff like give the decemberists 100 million dollars to write a concept album about the hardy boys

I love that anime series titles used to be like "Fruit Savior" and now they're like "I Found Excalibur in a Department Store and Now I Live in a Fantasy Dimension Where Every Amphibian Is in Love With Me."

Dog owners be like "This is Morty! He's 1/3 Albanian Hapsburg hound!"

Cat owners be like "This is David, his crimes are numerous and manifold."

You can taste the screaming.