Twitter post from Katelyn Caralle that Trump shitcanned Pam Bondi

This is just a desperate attempt to distract us from the Iran War by getting Jeffrey Epstein back in the news

“This morally bankrupt work is not what I signed up for when I accepted this job on the Death Star”

You gotta hand it to Nicorette—using packaging that’s nearly impossible to open when you’re stressed is a pretty solid bit

So much of American history is just impulsive and extremely stupid elites, who don't believe in consequences because they have never personally experienced them, doing highly consequential stuff because they're bored or believe it might make them richer. I guess a lot of our culture, too.

hey grok, show the emperor with no clothes

To be fair, he did say it was supposed to be the EVERYTHING app

It’s always the ones you least respect

Seth Meyers Calls Out Kimmel Suspension in Defiant ‘Closer Look’ Seth Meyers closed out Thursday night’s "A Closer Look" with a pointed—and personal—message about Jimmy Kimmel’s sudden suspension and its implications for free speech in America.

Seth Meyers closed out Thursday night’s "A Closer Look" with a pointed—and personal—message about Jimmy Kimmel’s sudden suspension and its implications for free speech in America.

Amber Ruffin Defends Both Sides After Her Cancelled White House Correspondents' Gig YouTube video by Late Night with Seth Meyers

Ever since Amber Ruffin's gig at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner was cancelled, she’s learned the importance of “both sides.” youtu.be/rUlTIeKeTVA?...

Poster for Woman in the Yard

If you’re cold, she’s cold. Bring her inside!

One hundred years ago this week, a young man, about to leave to fight in the trenches, wrote a poem for his fiancee, who was in a sanatorium dying of tuberculosis. Forty-four years later the poem was discovered and turned into a song. The song? "Yakety yak (Don't talk back)"

Writing checks is so silly. "Yes, of course you may have 75 dollars and 37 cents! But you'll have to go down to the bank to get it. Here, I'll write you a little note to let them know I said it was okay."

wow.

IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE BABY IS NO LONGER ON BOARD

NY post article that says according to his former landlord, Luigi Mangione’s back pain was so bad he couldn’t be physically intimate with anyone

I usually just tell my landlord I have a headache

telling the Benihana chef he's made a powerful enemy today but it's drowned out by laughter as he flicks a 7th shrimp into my shirt pocket

Ever since last week's shooting, I no longer feel safe arbitrarily denying medical claims on the streets of New York City

All Santa songs are like:

He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see

What’s the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Value Meal?

Turning off the Bears game and asking if anyone wants to talk politics

A courtroom sketch of Rudy Giuliani angrily pointing as if the newsstand guy just told him they were all out of Cousin Fuckers Monthly

when another boy has a 1980 Mercedes-Benz SL500 that was once owned by Lauren Bacall

Image description: Image by Inclusive Therapists featuring a list of hotlines. More resources at InclusiveTherapists.com/Crisis Warm lines that DON'T call the police: Call Blackline 800-604-5841 Centers BI&POC, LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens *Note: they also have an app. Trans Lifeline US - 877-565-8860 Canada - 877-330-6366 Run by and for trans people *Note: there are hours restrictions. They are generally open Monday thru Friday, 1 PM – 9 PM Eastern. Also, they have Spanish language options. Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line 888-407-4515 Run by trained peer supporters *Note: they are open specific hours, too — 7pm to 9pm ET Monday through Thursday & 7pm-10pm ET Friday through Sunday. StrongHearts Native Helpline 844-762-8483 Centering Native Americans & Alaska Natives *Note: focused on domestic / intimate partner & sexual violence. You can also chat with them online or via text. Thrive Lifeline 313-662-8209 Trans-led and operated *Note: this is primarily a text line, but it is open 24/7 and focused on people from marginalized & forcibly oppressed communities (including disability & neurodivergence). LGBT National Help Center 888-843-4564 *Note: there are hours restrictions. They are generally open Mon-Fri 4 PM - Midnight/eastern time & Sat Noon - 5 PM/eastern time. They have specific lines for coming out (888-688-5428), youth (800-246-7743), and seniors (888-234-7243). Also, they have an online peer chat, which is open Mon-Fri 4 PM - Midnight/eastern time & Sat Noon - 5 PM/eastern time.

Reminder that some of the hotlines people are sharing for crisis conversations 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬, regardless of what your wishes are.

These ones won't.

Add'l notes in the 🧵