karen carpenter’s birth name was Jesus

gender-neutral bathroom naming is out of control what the hell is “electrical closet” why am i peeing on a vacuum

dreamt my mfa program became a satanic cult— with a big veiny beelzebub capriciously sacrificing us at random— and i still walked into three conversations where people were debating the relative merits of Crying In H Mart

mammatus clouds in Minneapolis

tuff guy friday

stupid

my rachmaninoff

first nice day and kids are kicking a soccer ball on the quad but between kicks everyones looking at their phones… are you trying to end up in a new yorker cartoon??

steve reich ordering breakfast is like quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine

guy entering porta potty in the park asked guy leaving how it was in there and he was like, not great. so the guy was like, wait, should i not go in? and the other guy was like no no its not that bad. but the guy was like, im not going. so the other guy had to be like, no, please, you have to go in

every spring two ducks come live in a puddle

ducks who live in the street puddle annual status: 🦆📈

one could argue that the first one should actually be smith jerrod saying “my youth… harvested” while nude in that play but i would counter-argue that that is the root text of human experience

the thing from fiction i remember the most that no one was ever supposed to remember is a salesperson on sex and the city saying “the only thing more tragic is jack berger not owning any prada”. the thing from real life is someone breaking a silence in a library to say “reggie told me you are gay”

etymology of the the word whippersnapper

i’m the snippersnapper, whipster snippersnapper

dude the mall of america DLC is $60?? im just going to replay ikea

heres to 20 years of tunes

facts 💯

having just learned what spoons are, my understanding is, and i apologize if this is rude, is that helen dewitt ran out of spoons

intrusive thought

state birds

close up of an old cup that says minnesota land of 10000 wives basically

𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯
10000
𝔀𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼

i saw anne carson kissing santa claus

ʙʟᴏᴏᴍɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ

chicken mario

much to think about

via twitter user @zaaaaabi

found it after like 90 minutes of searching. worth it to me what a nice phrase. billy available to you now gratis

billy in a beautiful pose as a decoy for a stupid question

real urgent request: saw a post with a quote from someone like friedkin or paul schrader talking about the importance of film moments that dont advance the plot, which used some specific phrase for those moments. looking for that word or phrase. billy unrelated

trying to think of ways to get my intro writing class to get excited about creative nonfiction and briefly landed on “i could get a cameo of the rizzler saying he likes memoir”

orange cat on a walk name of billy extremely tuff

somehow even tuffer…

forgot to celebrate tuff guy friday with these. probably for the best these are honestly too tuff

would let these little guys come adore me any time

finally, a zero dollar sofa that looks like a down-to-earth robot that i could feed beers to