!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING GOT IN

Another reason why I hope I have enough karmic points to get reborn as a house cat. Diva.

Every time I go and stay at my partner Batty’s place I have to fight their 13yo cat for my spot on the bed because that’s where she likes to sleep (and she’s been here longer than I have). Woke up at one point this morning with her on my head because I was “on her pillow”

A 992-piece puzzle showing a wall of hanging flower pots on a garden fence. Left to right there’s a bike, a cat, and a blue Adirondack chair with a yellow cushion and more flowers on it.

Oh! I did finish a 992-piece puzzle (there were 8 pieces missing out of the 1000 piece puzzle) in the week of vacation time.

A photo of a bruised foot and ankle on top of a brightly colored dress with geometric patterns.

Vacation went (mostly) great!
Pros: did absolutely NOTHING this week.
Cons: fell off a paving stone while tripping and accidentally managed to drop it on my foot

Yesterday I was carrying a ladder on its side feet first and I didn’t like that so I flipped it over and caught it on my hip. It was so smooth and so cool and NO ONE saw it. I accomplished the maneuver and immediately thought, “Damn I’m so butch and so hot,” and it was a moment only for me I guess

And I have key and responsible party privileges at my home bar because I clean the place and am a trusted employee, so of course when the boss can’t supervise I get called in for an internationally-known band. Wild. My life is wild.

I love my wild, weird, and whacky life. Like what do you mean right now I get to listen to Howling Star practice while I pack a tea set away? And how I got here is such a journey. The tea set needs to be packed up from the catboi cafe cabaret club the night before, where I sold tea & cat treats

So it’s refreshing to be at my other job and be able to just answer transphobes however the hell I want. Not sure it’s “clap back” level of sniping but I definitely kept them confused and get maybe they won’t ask strangers what’s in their pants ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is fresh off hearing second-hand that an owner of a venue that I perform at wants me to keep performing at his venue but only if I stop wearing the mustache.

A drag king with short, curly hair snarls at the camera. Their facial hair is visible as well as their chesticles in a red houndstooth dress

They were “just curious as to what my sex was.” I laughed and told them that was a great question and to see if they could figure it out by the end of the show.

Lmaooo
So there’s a large group of Europeans here at the burlesque show I’m kittening at and they were staring at me. Making sure I’m not shirking my dollar daddy duties, I ask if they need anything if they need more ones etc. They tell me no, but they had a question

Just applied for the Coney Island Clown Skool. Hoping I can improve my clownfoolery skills and I hope I get in 😖

“Most Likely to Succeed” to Drag Stripper pipeline

Tomboy to high femme to femboy pipeline

If I continue with this pace and I have about the same amount of albums in each letter, it’ll take me over two years to finish this listening project. I’ll check back in when I finish the Bs

My favorite new to me album was “All Hands on the Bad One (Remastered)” by Sleater-Kinney.

After 42 days I have listened to all of the albums starting with a number or with an A. There were 3 albums each by Prince, Against Me!, and Ryan Adams; 3 was the largest number of albums by the same artist in the A block. I had listened to 4 albums from this block in their entirety before I started

About a month ago I started listening to all the albums I have saved on Spotify in alphabetical order. I realized I hadn’t actually listened to a lot of the music I saved specifically so that I could expand my music tastes so I started the listen through

A calendar page for the month of April. There is a red dot on every day except the 4, 5, 7, 14, and 29. The red dot means that’s a work day on the calendar.

Me: I want to start dating again. I have for a while and I don’t know why I haven’t been
-looks at my schedule-
Me: oh
(Photo legend- red dots mean work)

So yeah. It’s taken a while to get to this mindset. Say no to people without explaining yourself. If they need the explanation they will ask for it. You don’t need to justify your nos for people to accept them.

Thus far, every time I’ve said “I’m not available, sorry :(“ that’s been the end of it. My no is accepted and I move on to other shit. I have a fully clean bed- mattress topper, sheets, blanket, duvet cover, pillows- for the first time in ages because I haven’t had to do only one piece when I’m able

Everyone I work with is a responsible adult. They can take a no. They can take an “I’m not able/I’m not available.” I don’t need to preemptively explain myself. If they want an explanation, they can ask me with their own mouths. If they have a problem with my reasoning, we can talk about it then.

I get so anxious feeling like if I can’t work I’m letting people down so I need to give a good reason for not working.
But if I’m looking out for myself, I need to do that without feeling bad about it. I’m allowed to say no to work just because I don’t feel like it.

Or having to tell my manager I can’t make this food service shift with a good reason or they won’t accept it. I’ve had to call my coworkers to cover a shift when I was too sick to work (and too sick to be responsible for my own replacement tbh)

It’s also hard because I like the people I work with. I want to help them succeed. I want to give what I can when I can. So when I turn them down, I feel the need to explain myself so they know I’m not just blowing them off. It’s a remnant of having to give a valid reason to miss school

I have had people offer gigs to me this week that I’ve had the capacity to do. It’s hard to turn those down especially when I’m used to the scarcity mindset; queen I have to take any gig I’m able to do to be able to pay my bills and feed myself.

I’ve finally been able to make good progress on the room of doom during the 4 days this week I haven’t had obligations. I worked enough in the past month (and received some money from an inheritance) to be financially stable enough to take these days off fully

And throughout the doom mountains there is just trash all over. I’ve tried to make a dent in getting things back in order, but one day a week just has not been enough to make any sort of difference. This one days a week are more often used to rest rather than clean for obvious reasons

Buuuuut my room has been in a state of overwhelming clutter since September as well. I can’t find costumes. The piles of clean and dirty laundry have commingled and taken over all of my floor space so that there’s only enough space to walk from my bed to the door.