and i’m like why they say fuck me fo ?

drained a healthy amount of my savings account on $5 MONOPOLY SECRET VAULT WIN UP TO $1,000,000! lottery scratch-off tickets.

Mufasa is a boring movie that I have already forgotten everything about. I havent seen Moonlight yet and now when I finally do I'll only be thinking about how boring Mufasa was.

(john lennon voice) imagine theres no pussy

getting into screenwriting

whenever my dad pisses me off i chew on this $5 bill

my leg is dead asleep rn and it hurts in the way that feels lowkey good

im the shit, the rest of yall just the fart

just got word from fauci, covid-25 should be rolling out soon #TopSecret #TheDoctorIsIn #AnAppleADayChallenge

this guy looks like trouble

i have a lot of bad habits but the only one i actively despise is setting my alarm for early in the morning only to turn it off and sleep in whenever it buzzes. help me fight these demons.

met the rizzler once at los alamitos. he had just gotten into a brawl. clothes soaked in the blood of his own and others; sneakers, white as an angels teeth.

and then my broke ass dog

woke up today like. gosh. what a nice day!

almost every day i think about this Bukowski poem

"alright sponge, posture is key you gotta stand upright at all times, never slouch. and you got a good look going on with the square pants and the tie but maybe get some small accessories like a chain, or a nice watch, something thatll make you stand out."

meeting spongebob irl and telling him tips on how to be a player

hit the gym then immediately went to work after, i imagine this is how John McCain felt in those pow camps

heres mine but im thinking i might put Dune higher up on a rewatch

i could have my poopy on, i could have use a loo to pee and fart

my gay ass thought this was a penis

using ai to write a eulogy for my grandfathers funeral

investing & portfolio tips that YOU need to know

t-shirt idea

if i was in Honey I Shrunk The Kids id fall into a jar of Mt. Olives and be like "haha, looks like ive gotten myself into a pickle!" before painfully drowning to death in the acidic brine.

FUCK YOU

the only good cartoon ever made

a green radar screen shows a target in the middle of it ALT: a green radar screen shows a target in the middle of it

bruh i saw your ass wat- woah woah woah, this thing is going off the charts right now. wow.

Im sorry you must have confused me with someone else. I dont watch cartoons, I watch real shows.