Bummer. I remember getting absolutely *smashed* at Paradise back around 2017. I threw up in the parking lot and a bunch of rednecks laughed at me.

It would have been more believable if the DoorDash driver was Kevin Sorbo

It’s been a whirlwind, Scoob! I’m such a Southern girl 🤣 This was our view at Microsoft.

Just casually watching the Yankees game from a private suite…

Thanks, Scoob ❤️❤️❤️

Got a plate of fries, Scoob! 🍟🍺

(This is a business trip, btw.)

Drinking alone at an airport TGI Fridays at 10:30 in the morning 🤘🏻

Happy birthday, bunnies! 🐰

Sweetums evil twin: Bitchums.

I hereby declare Cunt Day every next Tuesday.

It’s okay to be a little wtf 🤗

Oh great. Mosquito season has begun in Georgia…

🦟🦟🦟

It’s okay to be a little wtf 🤗

For real?? Omg. We probably hear her voice constantly and don’t even realize it.

It doesn’t 😕

When I was a kid, I thought voice actress E.G. Daily’s name was pronounced “egg” 🥚❤️

I remember my father getting pissed off because he thought women were voting for Gore because they found him cute 😊

You and me both 😉

Grownups are weird ✌🏻

What the fuck is up Denny’s

Sometimes it’s just a glass of wine before noon for me 🍷

The Criterion Channel playing Tarkovsky’s Mirror right now…

Girl, it’s 7:30 in the morning.

*holding up a dino nugget* you didn’t go extinct for nothing, pal

I Have No Butt, and I Must Poop

It was the last day of school, too 😭

I vomited so badly the one night my mother made tacos for dinner (purely coincidental), I haven’t eaten them since 2003.

Perfect to pair with:

Deep Memories of the Black Toilet