The Things We Think and Do Not Say: Why I’m Writing a Newsletter Help me help you.

The Things We Think and Do Not Say: Why I’m Writing a Newsletter.

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Everyday I pray I’ll wake up and someone excitedly tells me, through tears of joy, “you should turn on the news.”

Neighbor running automated lawnmower in the middle of a heat lightning storm was quite a thing to watch

*guy hits pipe*

*guy coughs in an increasingly syncopated and accelerating manner building to a suffocating zenith*

*Mr. Self Destruct kicks in*

Friends: ok that was pretty cool

I too have been abused by Katy Perry…physically abused in the ear!

Nothing makes my dick shrivel and disappear like a turtle head like the voice of Benson Boone

I’m Looksmaxxing (shopping at TJ Maxx for all my springwear needs)

I take it for granted but it’s nice to drive past Grant’s Farm and see like an alpaca, a zebra and a Canada goose just chilling under a tree.

I ain’t talking to nobody

Trump; *rapes child on pay per view in UFC octagon on burning White House lawn as MAGA congress throws Nazi salutes*

Media: “What kind of message does this send?”

I never see a kid on a pedal bike now. They are on electric bikes. I shouldn’t feel like an old man about this but I do,

The new Of Montreal song is QUITE FUCKING AWFUL. Like, beyond belief.

After Project Hail Mary I think a Lord and Miller Flight of the Navigator remake is in order

Trump will never be a cool rocking daddy in the USA

Rest in peace D Trump forever in our hearts

I’m still thnkn bout Kristi noem’s husbands absolute unit of a rack

Fuck it! Protein toothpaste! Protein Pop Rocks! Protein Garlic Knots! Protein Cantaloupes!

Ok I’ll bite what the fuck is “protein”

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

What if “Being There,” but evil? —original Hollywood pitch for Donald Trump

Stick with me here: Joe Pera Gilligan’s Island reboot

Disney pulls plug after TMZ has obtains video of a woman paid and encouraged to act like lunatic asshole on tv acting like lunatic asshole in real life. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is a child rapist.

“From the safest places come the bravest words.”

I identify as a queer shapeshifter whose genitals morph and transform to meet every unique situations

My least favorite part of a meeting is “Next Steps.” I’m always hoping we end it right then and there.

Goddamn it is 5 years old too late to rename my dog Bark Ruffalo

lol pitchfork wants me to log in and subscribe and see and get angry at its scores. I’m good!

“Is this a fucking REBUS???!” me out loud to a crossword

I won my office Oscar pool ($140!) using only @seanfennessey.bsky.social pics, it pays to listen to The Big Picture. Thanks Unboxing Boy!

Conan’s Norm-est jokes tonight were my favorite