Just used the last of the antiperspirant spray. Roll on tomorrow.

"Imagine, Imagine, Imagine...."

A pickpocket who was chased out of Battersea Funfair took refuge today in the Post Office Tower. Police immediately threw a ring round it - and the Postmaster General gave them a goldfish.

Its an emulation thing, but have you seen the AYN Thor?

In the Name of the Row-Z

Packets of all four flavours of Nik Naks, together in a shop

This might not translate globally, but for UK people, this is like seeing the Beatles reform

How long does it take a Happy Meal to start working?

You mean ... CURDly fries?

The reason snooker players take so long between shots is they quietly sing Snooker Loopy to themselves so they know which ball to pot next.

Terry Jones as Brian's mum in Life of Brian's "he's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy" scene

"He's NOT the Messiah, he's a doctor actually"

I like my salad like my poker opponents - obscured from view by a massive fucking pile of my chips.

Leaflet of three candidates, white blokes with limited hair, all in glasses. --- **GATESHEAD IS BROKEN. VOTE REFORM UK TO FIX IT** Introducing your Reform UK candidates for Low Fell leaflet text: **ATKINSON, John** Reform UK John has lived in Low Fell for 30+ years. His background is in civil engineering, policing, teaching and transport. He wants to bring back a sense of community, listen to residents' concerns and focus on local issues such as crime, roads and streets, and better services. --- **HENDERSON, Iain** Reform UK Iain has lived and worked in Gateshead all his life. Now retired, he wants to give something back to the borough. With a positive outlook, Iain is looking forward to making a real difference to the lives of the residents of Low Fell and to working closely with them. --- **MURRAY, Arthur** Reform UK Arthur has owned several businesses for many years. He has lived locally for 50 years and employs local staff, servicing the northeast and Scotland. His priorities are to see the ward and area prospering once again, caring for the old and infirm and maintaining our parks and open spaces. ---

This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person

I love Scottish football club nicknames: the bully wee, the honest men, the loons, the awful sectarian bigots, the pars. Lovely.

I have seen this city’s true face

I was quoting the movie, but thanks for the update! You didn't miss much. It was utter dogshit.

...and then?

Pretend you’re in Back To The Future by kissing your mum last week.

South Shields looking radiant.

it is wednesneigh my dudes

Its not nominative determinism, but this is a tremendous name;

Twist. This is who is going to deactivate Tilly Norwood

A tweet from Sean Leahy reading: "The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what? "Bond Name's the james" Are you alright? "Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"

Still my all-time favourite.

DC Pierson: "I sent youse two to whack that freakin' guy and instead youse screwed it up like a couple of" (bag of Goji Maca Snakaroons)

Tweet showing a photo of an old gun with 4 barrels. When you need to shoot exactly four evenly spaced dudes Reply says say your prayers weezer

In these challenging times someone might need one of them:
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258

Please share. TY x

Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Trans rights are human rights. #tdov

Cumboots dairy farm

The whatnow?

I made Twitch Partner!

WE DID IT!
Thank you, everyone! Couldn't have done it without you all. We're celebrating tomorrow with 12 hours of game requests, starting 12pm EDT!

Showing excellent initiative - rewarded with further pints!