clean hair / full face / can’t lose

I have a corporate event tomorrow for which my hair needs to be clean. I have to clean my hair somehow. But it can only be accomplished at terrible cost to myself (night shower + full blow dry and style before bed)

the 30 rock episode where liz goes on administrative leave for sexual harassment and falls in with the idle rich housewives who are running a fight club is something that could happen to any character on mad men

french dog owner (in french): he will not stop barking. why will he not cease

the dog (in bark): I SEE FARMER GHOST. I SEE ERGOT DEMON FARMER GHOST IN FIELD

I bought a book and the cashier said they were doing a book club on it at the store so being the master of my own destiny I wrote it on my calendar and showed up. there are rooms all over the place you can just walk into and meet people

“Special Effects” used to mean Movie Magic and now it just means Computer

yeah my boyfriend’s in a band/
he plays guitar while I sing lou reed

11 hours of lana del rey hits so good when u ain’t got a man in ya ear

saturdays are for chores (taking everything out of the closet and trying on formal shorts with different pairs of heels while listening to Lana’s discography in sequence)

I saw someone say, “Emerald Fennell is Greta Gerwig’s Wario,” and I haven’t stopped laughing 😭

Merci!

couple next to me were griping about “Netflix chuds” and a woman in front of us turned around to interject that she works at Netflix and is NOT a chud,

a big screen about to show DEAD RECKONING on nitrate

last night I went to wuthering heights. no comment

booked a vacation that’s not to visit family, as in a trip solely for Me to Enjoy, for the first time in yeARs. are there any good restaurants in Paris

saturday night encountered a hawk moth pollinating the jasmine in my courtyard and started crying at the mystery and majesty of life’s delicate web

already bought some of the new mitski merch with the cat on it

actor Josh O’Connor sitting in chair

this photo is like a police composite of all the men in my life who ever Did It For Me and if I look at it for too long I feel my brain cells turning into popcorn

by “1930s prospector” I of course mean “anachronistic fantasy dialogue spoken by Walter Brennan which later came to signify The Old West because America only knows itself in the mirror of Hollywood” which is something we talked about for more than 200 hours, probably

wild how I’m going to meet so many people in my life who never knew me before and they’ll have no clue why I sometimes drop 1930s prospector idioms into regular conversation

my siblings and their growing families are with their in-laws and so my parents are cooking Christmas dinner for three while I study this as for an exam

two beautifully wrapped Christmas gifts

A bunch of nicely wrapped presents on the table, though the bows got squashed in the mail and need to be fluffed back up

You guessed it: more TV prop-looking gift wrapping

A final example of how I like to Wrap (good, with pretty paper and big bows)

this is how I normally wrap gifts. gift bag users unfollow

my family took all the good boxes for wrapping already and I’m forced to give my dad his present in a gift bag. humiliating. childish. a coward’s weapon. might as well hand him a dirty amazon mailer

we’ll see!

eating in bed is contemptible

I was legally widowed at age 35…what does the next year have in store for me. diphtheria perhaps

brave enough to admit that after virtuously deciding against a tv in the bedroom when I moved, I yearn for a tv in the bedroom at least once a week

absolutely psychotic music choice by the way. she didn’t even turn it off when I started crying

had a nice night at my office holiday party until the uber driver played “diamonds and rust” on the way home and I sobbed in the back seat next to my friend while he fed me chex mix out of his work backpack. grief blazes up in bursts of surreal absurdity and stamps ordinary life with cigarette burns

despite living in LA for like 13 years I’m still normal and regular. The most normal person here. it has not altered my baseline perception of reality. I just paid 10 dollars for a latte

[pulls pin out of grenade] why don’t my peers use cardinal directions when describing routes and locations. i.e. “the south side of the street” “I’m headed east” “be on the northwest corner” instead it’s all “um it’s telling me” narration of a lagging turn-by-turn app