A series of posts on slack from the author talking about how much they like moss (“I’d like to lay down in the moss” etc)

Same

Not a lot of places for a llama to go

As someone who has had to expel a squirrel from my apartment on two separate occasions, I think bigger is better. Anything small can hide in places you can’t reach.

I KEEP SAYING THIS and I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall

Oh hello

I learned yesterday that in Quebec they call Paul Bunyan's ox "Babe le bœuf bleu" and I figured you all should know

lol if Isaac Chotiner says "I see" to you, your reputation as a person of any merit is done. Kaputt. Over. Chotiner's "I see" is Vinnie saying "He's gone and we couldn't do nothin' about it" in Goodfellas

Also critically cannot imagine spending a single cent on someone other than themselves. This person sends a Venmo request if you eat one of his French fries at dinner.

we’ve got bigger problems, we’re leaving Ryan Lizza in 2025 god bless

A screenshot of an email from Delta that says “the best name in the game: Sarah. There are 347,284 other Skymiles members who share your name”

Delta created its own version of Spotify Wrapped for me but I literally did not fly anywhere in calendar year 2025 so they’re just grasping at straws and I cannot stop laughing

"we managed to get a photo of the ICE agent but his giant automatic weapon is covering up his QR code. ah well, nevertheless"

"sorry, i know you're about to abduct me but can you hold still for a sec while i scan your QR code"

Yesterday the google AI summary told me that Mamdani was the commissioner of the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs. I guess he's been busy!

Decided to do Dry January and start a slow read of “War and Peace” to really kick off the year in misery

A picture of a lemon and a snickers bar with a caption that says “Lemon Snickers: a many bad things”

You are angry about something. “Clam down” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell.

I was also housing some chicken parm at the time which really elevated the experience

I have not ugly cried that hard in a LONG time

hell yeah

*hops in the forester with a gallon of bleach and 50 cans of lysol*

WHAT AREAS, NEW YORK????

rusty.

imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin

In my ancestral homeland (The Actors Equity building)

It's Giving Tuesday It's been giving Tuesday all year if you ask me. November 29th, 2022

Happy anniversary to those who celebrate www.todayintabs.com/p/turn-that-...

Hire me to hang out at the shop with my hand on a giant lever that opens up a trap door every time someone says this