Adopting a friendly little dude next week!

It takes so long to record and edit TikTok videos. I hate that it’s an expected part of being in a band now.

This is genuinely great. Now make sure the CPL has funding!

It’s so baffling to me.

TACO is such an unhinged thing to say when the thing he is “chickening out” on is nuclear war.

I think it's bad for the President to threaten to annihilate an entire culture and i do not think you are being alarmist if you take his threats seriously and literally.

girl take us with you

I used to worry about world war 3 but now I only care about the ebb and flow of the stalk market.

I don’t think this game was designed to uphold someone’s mental well being anywhere near the extent I’ve needed it to lately.

You: Wow, Shannon, you seem so calm and carefree!

Me: Thanks! I’ve been playing Animal Crossing every day for an amount of time that can only be described as “alarming!”

Saw the AI Doc last night. Very fortunate to have the theater to myself because I could not stop myself from shouting oh fuck OFF several times throughout it.

Miss Page, the bunny librarian from Richard scary books, hides behind three enormous stacks of books, only her ears can be seen.

The fox librarian screams and throws her books.

The two types of librarian conflict management as illustrated by Richard Scarry. Which are you?

Libraries, like post offices, like schools, like the fire department, are not businesses and should not be run like one.

Also businesses should not be run as they are.

Posting here is basically talking to myself but threads is just rage bait and I’m not going back to twitter. Tough time to be a woman with little jokes on the internet.

Me: I’ve come a long way in therapy. I’m not as sensitive as I used to be.

Also me: The self-checkout machine sounded annoyed with me when it told me to move my pink lady apples to the bag.

Your life isn't shitty because of Trans people. Your life is shitty because of billionaires and republican legislation.

Yeah. My complaint isn’t about the quality of the app or fees, it’s that I need to download the app at all. I just think it’s annoying.

I do not want to download an app to buy tickets for a show at the Burlington. Why do I need to download an app to buy tickets for a show at the Burlington?

In the week leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, there is nothing that delights a baby boomer more than finding out my name is Shannon.

I know the new guy is also evil but it’s nice to see misfortune befall a dusty ass bitch.

I was literally just saying this! Everyone at my work is obsessed with Trader Joe’s and I do not get it!

It is honestly humiliating how upset I get when someone thinks that.

best credit. RIP.

Ugh, just heard about Tom Noonan. Everyone watch House of the Devil tonight.

More people should go see Nirvanna the band the show the movie so I can talk to more people about how crazy and funny Nirvanna the band the show the movie was and we can bond over our mutual love for Nirvanna the band the show the movie.

“Be careful or Gen Z will know you’re not young.” Ok so in grade school I had no friends because I told everyone my favorite tv show was the Love Boat. I have literally never read young to any generation.

This show is so great. Every epi is like an extended Mr. Show sketch. Chris Elliott is such a weirdo gem of a guy.

A lot of stuff to feel hopeless about so here’s something that’s bringing me joy: both seasons of Get a Life are on Tubi!

Ugh, I’m so sorry, Angel. It’s so hard when you know you’re approaching the end. I’m glad you’ve had each other for so long. ♥️