hitting a wall with writing this morning because I woke up from the worst nightmares ever displayed to my sleeping mind. 🫩

Like you can’t tell me all of that on top of seeing her only favorite person in the world die and then having strangers come up to her saying “remember when you and Helen…” isn’t a perfectly good reason to be absolutely wretched…

And all of this was for a fandom that, literally we see it in episode 1, doesn’t care about the story she’s writing, they care about the character she’s betrayed and they don’t even know about the betrayal.

“Carol Struka is unlikable!” Not to me. To me, she’s justified in the anger she had even before the hive came around. She was a lesbian author who was forced to cater to heteronormativity while actively betraying her character by lying about her original identity.

Literally this!!!! I wanted more of manousos than just him repeating English phrases. I understand the point of the episode was to be boring but it was soooo disappointing to me. I’ll probably feel differently about it when the rest of the season is out but as of rn I am bummed

Cinematically? Very cool. From a storytelling perspective? Genuinely felt like a waste of time.

can someone give me their honest opinion of this weeks Pluribus episode because I have opinions and it’s that it was not their best work

Realizing all I’ve ever wanted to be is a writer right when I hit the part of my life where it will be the most difficult to make that happen.

Writing one chapter a day of my obi-wan kenobi/9th doctor fanfic and we’re on chapter 3 (obi-wan is yearning, the doctor is mad)

mannnn the internet was not lying about getting off of Effexor. ya girl can’t stop crying about meaningless things.

really debating publishing the very short katniss everdeen/bella swan crackship fanfic I’ve been working on.

I’m basically talking into the void because I haven’t posted on social media in years and now that I’m out of the hole I dug with pharmaceuticals I am so creative and dying to write, but I’m writing more fanfic and more of my book and things are looking up.

I did however just write and publish the first chapter of an Obi-Wan/9th doctor fanfiction titled Right Down the Line that you can find on my ao3 account (username: beratings)

logged into ao3 for the first time in years only to find all of my dedicated readers of the destiel fanfiction I obsessively wrote at ages 18-21 have been begging me to write more </3 I am so sorry I have failed you all.

slopped off the antidepressant withdrawals, crying over cinematography videos about forced perspective.

One thing about me is that I don’t think ethnostates of any kind should exist and that includes Isnotreal and their kink for killing children.

I want all applications on my cellular device to stop asking me to allow them to give me notifications every time I open it. I don’t want your notifications. You’re on MY phone.

big pharma will soon be out of my system and maybe then I will be a person again. also I’m growing my own mushrooms to fix my brain with.

“What if he fell asleep” “what if he was drunk” “what if someone else ordered the food” and what if the Easter bunny came to his house and pulled his pants down and opened his door.

Siding with a corporation is bootlicker behavior. Stand up lol.

stop using ai please. if you can’t form a single thought without asking a robot if it’s even a thought then you really really need human interaction.

2001: the internet is full of weirdos don’t give anyone your personal information
2025: the robot that’s infiltrated every aspect of my digital experience told me the holocaust never happened and cited itself as a source

If you hate AI infiltrating artists space and spend a lot of time doing crafts that you’re thinking about selling, I made an app specifically for you and the beta version will be available next month for testing. :) more info coming soon @vendrus.bsky.social

having a boyfriend is cool because there’s more pocket room

(at a classy restaurant, setting my phone up against my water glass) sorry I can’t eat without watching edits of Lestat de Lioncourt from the 2022 television series Interview with the Vampire.

based on a true story.

take the risk. ask someone to feed you grapes in a clearing while listening to folk love songs and then wait three and a half years for them to travel the country and miss you so bad they want to come back to tell you that you never left their mind.

By far my most beautiful masterpiece of literature.

a few more days GRAVESEY · a few more days · Song · 2025

i released a new song or whatever go check it out <3 open.spotify.com/track/25UDe4...

198 hours of my life that I cherished