At Costco and saw the chips whose ads kept interrupting the youtube videos I'd been watching so I drop kicked six of them into the personal care aisle

Open message to any squirrels that might be reading this: It's OK to let me approach you, I mean you no harm, in fact I believe we could one day become powerful allies

The fourth word my husband said to me today was "Sussudio"

[millennial trying to fire a younger coworker]

so you lowkey don’t work here anymore, unc

A massive funnel cake with powdered sugar at the ready for topping

This is your sign to stop everything and make yourself funnel cakes.

Going to a Payless ShoeSource could fix me

i feel like this is all happening cause we stopped pumping up the jam

We turned away from the light when we invented a way to go online without the computer screaming in warning.

The 80's was mostly saxophone. Mostly.

A man in jeans and navy sweatshirt standing on a suburban street corner while talking on his phone. Beside him is a miniature brown pony.

Sometimes it's nice to remember the time a man and his miniature pony were lost in my neighborhood.

I only know about 10% of the words to Informer and no, that does not stop me.

Mambo #5 was the confession of a serial killer

Is it "accidentally" or "by accident"? Anyway, I sawed my assistant in half

If you ever see a cat in public it is your civic duty to assist that cat with whatever matters it is currently engaged in, regardless of legality or personal financial cost

“.. People take part in a rally on the day of a general strike to protest U.S. President Donald Trump's deployment of thousands of immigration enforcement officers on the streets of Minneapolis, Minnesota.”

@reuters.com

Minneapolis weather showing Partly cloudy with a temperature of -10° Fahrenheit, with a wind chill of -27. The high is -10 and the low is -21° Fahrenheit.

Especially considering the weather. I was born and raised in Minnesota and this is capital-C Cold.

The feminine urge to burn all insurance companies to the ground

Good morning from Northern Minnesota, where it's currently 0°F. Bit chilly for out-of-towners, eh?

I need a compilation video of ICE morons slipping and falling on the ice, please. It warms my cold Minnesotan soul.

Do you know how frickin pissed off you have to make Minnesotans for them to not only NOT help you, but HECKLE you?

ICE lies

Just yesterday DHS was taunting us on social media. Now they've come to our city and killed a legal observer. How much more can we take? We are being invaded and shot by our own government for the purposes of generating content for a mob of Nazis on the internet.

You can teach your kids fake words if you want. My toddler thinks “Hellobius” is a normal greeting

hate to pile on but dragons are real and biting people

I had those jammies for both my kids and they were my favorite. So cute!

A product listing for a bright red 42" long model of the Edmund Fitzgerald, priced at a reasonable $1,076.17.

If I ever win the lottery, there will be signs.

I don’t get Channing Tatum as a concept or as a person.

Too bad, slopguy

*werner herzog voice* hamburger will never help you