The lack of life purpose is strong today

listening to The Story by Brandi Carlile and bawling for some reason

Happy to be sleeping in my own bed again but most importantly happy to be reunited with my bidet

Entered the stage of my life where I’m surprised when a young hip person wants to hang out with me

Crazy to think we will have to poop until we die

actually in disbelief i just got to see jesse lacy play a show at some guy’s house teenage me wouldn’t comprehend

Sounds like tower of terror I’ll take it

Had my recurring nightmare of being hunted down by Gumby last night

Phew 😮‍💨

Mean to me? whatever… but mean to my friends? I will fucking ruin your life

Propaganda. Name it whenever you witness it. Especially now. Document it, name it, share it.

Fun to poop in your childhood bathroom…. yeah i’m back in Thailand baby

Old people at self checkout should be banned

ALEXIS

There’s this white guy with a tiny beanie in my neighborhood who always walks his dog without a leash and I wanna go Karen on his ass

Last night I fell asleep with my AirPods in and during my midnight piss in a sleepy haze one of them fell into the toilet bowl and I had to fish it out

You can thank my complex in high school of feeling like the ugly one in my trio of gorgeous friends for my charming personality

I think my mom has undiagnosed ADHD

what were yall up to last night? I was projectile vomiting in the bathroom until 3am

I regret to inform myself that I may have developed an intolerance to lactose based on some classified information

wow the parade this year was crazy

not one part of this sentence is comprehensible to her… my poor mother cannot fathom what her daughter is doing in her free time

imagine me saying the words “twitch streaming resident evil 4” to my 71 year old asian mother and having no simple way to explain any component of this

I actually used to do this with the Bible

Good advice

1:42 am and you can’t sleep what do you do

(one headlight)

love when i’m in a coffee shop and they play my favorite song

idk if i have an attention disorder but i definitely have something

wow I really do be fckin up today