going to make it through

remembering our silly schizo-y stumbly giggly weird self loves eating meat immensely

realizing that when that self becomes distinct the cold self does too

they separate as halbesssss

i can tell it scares me badly

but also that i'm helpless to the fact i like fear

im conditioned to be drawn to it

and i just sort of limply wait for whatever comes next

getting riled up and needy

going even blanker

laying there confused and struggling to ask what's happening as they start doing things to me

or just getting woken up immediately back to where i was

the world around me just kind of swallows up in darkness and leaves me alone with that person

my sense of hearing gets faint and i forget everything i was thinking about

my voice gets small and has trouble with words at all

i find myself curling into and nuzzling like theyre an anchor in the void

bsky gets all the horny posts i dont want to put on twitter

i'm admittedly very allured by the rush of "n-no wait, don't—" as someone grabs my chin and i just kind of disappear mentally

silly romcom anime went extremely serious for the last four episodes depicting sexual trauma very similar to mine

so now im quietly increasingly craving being drugged or dropped and either way being used while i'm too delirious to care to fight

want to get assaulted and mind controlled

oh my god i lived in st paul for like a year a few years ago i came so close

busy day for a busy harvest

There's something special about having a collared pet. They have a constant reminder of who owns them. I get to see how squirmy they get when I clip a leash on, or wrap my fingers under their collar and yank them over to me.

any other girlies shedding this week

winter coat is falling out and summer coat feels very comfy and strong

it's a floor doll now~

Floor doll (doll on the floor (it has a pillow and a cup of (extremely psychoactive) doll juice (it's having a great time)))

- mafuyu asahina
- silver wolf
- sanae kochiya
- chii

post 4 of ur favorite characters and let ppl assume things about u

it's a very on-the-nose obvious answer but Very Doll

affectionate doll in particular maybe

though i do say this only vaguely knowing two characters and not much else

but still very doll

bskybskybskybskybskybskybsky

hug🫂

and if you cant then at least call me cute/hot for my body being so messed up and tiny

helpppppp pls make my body not hurt me

if you ever want to have sex with me you *have to* be ready for me to joke about being a loli it is how i cope with this body

you have to treat me like a delicate thing that's halfway between little and middle because that's when my body froze yknow

literally all i can think of when paying attention to that pain is all of the rapefic with a line about "i-it hurts..." followed by getting shushed by whoever it is that is towering over them

like I Know the kind of 'it hurts' that is and it's so real to me

plus just the fact that like. getting too hard *hurts*. it is unbelievably overwhelming and literally feels like Something Is Wrong despite there being no danger because my body never got to a size thats mature enough for sex

god and dont even get me started on fucked up nerves

i dont think *hair* is supposed to feel like a dangerous stabbing pain on contact

intersex scar tissue fucking SUCKS it is WAY to easy to mistakenly hurt me literally just from touching me the wrong way during sex

"do not touch my dick with anything more than two fingers and definitely don't lay against it or else i will yelp and bleed" is such a shitty feeling