The absolute GOAT hippo video.

cunt

Between B*rnie, my ex-wife, the tenant from hell, and general chumpfuckery, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day. Tommy needy drinky.

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

A dog food bowl filled with kibble and rotisserie chicken

I just want you to know my mother has sprinkled rotisserie chicken all through my dogs food bowl in such a way that ensures and I quote "he gets chicken with every bite" because "that's how we do it at grandma's house"

i know he’s looking up at bam and smiling right now

oh man this point is so stupid

pooing my pants until I shit my pants live on twitch right now

In response to the allegations regarding their cereal, Cocoa Puffs dotcom claims that all of the alleged perpetrators are “choco-tastic”

it's crazy how sad you can feel when you have nothing going on in your life

not me tho i am thriving but i can do my iconic gwimbly victory dance for only $5, i take venmo

there is no comedy work better than the nick has a mental breakdown period of cum town #laughing

they/thems universally have digestive issues #farting #shit

@dischord.com hey guys!! power by q and not u is not on tidal anymore it appears, any chance you'd put it back??? all the love :)

TRUMP IS A THROST GOAT

They’re calling him the Most Vindicated Man in History

It’s so fucking funny that Adam’s
podcast is blowing up and she’s falling the fuck off.

(are you trying to yank my chain voice) are you trying to jerk off my penis really fast and hard until it shoots fat fucking ropes everywhere????????

No, no, bring back kinkshaming.

interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years

jana: smoking weed

interviewer: that's a deeply unprofessional—

jana: you're there too

interviewer: what are you—

jana: you're smiling, but there is a sadness behind it

the amazing digital circus is the bluesky of shows dude

what the fuck is tickletober. why is there weird fetish shit in my feed. i'm only on here to spread misinformation

the cool thing about fighting Dr. Acula is that you can use garlic OR apples

i do not currently have the funds and my follower count on here is very low so this will not have any significant impact but if you can support the person who edited 5 trillion hours of entertainment by buying lego that would be #epic #woke #lego #bricks #peepee

don't think i'll ever top this but if someone wants to top me that would be cool #woke #gay #currentlyhavingapoo

*bringing a girl into my bedroom with dirty dishes on the floor and clothes everywhere*

so you can see that I have created a sense of lynchian disharmony mixed with a harmony korine-esque stoned detachment when designing my room. it's really giving dogme 95 when you think about it do you wanna kiss

the govt can fuck all the way off with this section 28 shit, which I trust will be ignored by any teacher with a conscience.

looking at the screen that makes you sad before bed

you mean cum town meets gene dinapoli (feat. bam margera)

i fucking hate having crushes on people dude because i will never actually say anything to them because i am weak

listening to cum town wokely