🥰 some might come close tho!

Ate too much bread and now my tummy feels not so good. I really am just like a duck, but more complicated. Or so I hope. 🦆

Skiing on Monday
Hiking shirtless on Wednesday?

😊 aw you’ve got blushing over here 🥰

Vroom vroom (by charli xcx) feat curls

Mission complete 🫡

Started to jerk it, but then I was like ya know what would make this better? A dick inside of me.

*waits until the top is in the most difficult, uncomfortable position* aaaaahhh yes that feels sooo good, don’t stop! 😌

Yes, today’s the day I officially hit 30. Thank you! 😊

No! I feel much better today. And I’ve passed the 24 hour mark without a fever (: and thankfully just in time for my birthday

Miss Musgraves, your timing is impeccable. Because this feels like the driest of spells. Spent last week with family then got home and I’ve been sick all week so I can’t even get any :’(

I stg if this thermometer tells me I still have a fever today I’m going to find a hammer and destroy it.

No more fever, but somehow I feel worse. And it’s going to be 72 outside today. If I’m going to be sick, it should at least be when the weather is horrid.

I have no gag reflex until it’s time to swallow a pill 🤒

*Old woman’s voice with a southern drawl* “Are y’all serving alcohol on this flight??”
Yep, I’m definitely on the right plane to my hometown.

Denver’s airport is actually in Kansas

I love taking the train to the airport. It makes me feel so metropolitan.

Sam Altman is proof that white gay men are evil. But he’s evil to the core. I just had a little evil streak in college.

Gay and don’t like slayyyter? That’s sus

If I wanted to watch an old man sun down, I’d go to a nursing home instead of watching the state of the propaganda.

My apartment building doesn’t want to enforce their own EV charging parking space rules (while also still parking gas cars in spots with EV chargers). So I’m just parking wherever I want and I dare them to fuck with me (:

When straight men start asking me questions about my car’s engine and I’m just standing there like “I bought car because I like pretty car (:”

Long hair… but unfortunately, I still care.

Me, bundled up enjoying the fresh snow on the slopes. (Omg having your own skis/boots makes skiing so much easier).

Colorado finally had some snow this week ❄️

I bought the Dreo smart evaporative humidifier (for 1k sq ft) and it has a filter that keeps the white dust from getting on everything. So I can just keep using tap water because the last thing I want to do is constantly buy distilled water (it takes multiple gallons of water a day).

UK: Prince Andrew arrested.

South Korea: Former President Yoon sentenced for life.

Brazil: Former President Bolsonaro serving a 27-year sentence.

USA: President Trump demands $10 billion payout from taxpayers.

Living in Florida would be like simulating my own personal living hell. Congrats to those who enjoy it tho!

The way that I think shoulder day has become my favorite day… other than leg day obviously. And I used to hate working out shoulders.

My man telling me to “get my ass up and to the gym or else I’m gonna be a bitch all day” aw, hun you know me so well!

Happy birthday beautiful!