Why was that Netflix show called "Stranger Things," when it didn't happen at sea?

Why did the Greggs chicken slice cross the road?

Obviously the fault of the pastryarchy.

Spare a thought for this man. Until recently, he made a fortune from the credits of the various TV shows in the Law & Order franchise, named in his honour. Now they are out of copyright and in the public domain, he is now reduced to doing the weather on regional British TV. We feel for you, sir.

If we had drawn WSM away, it would have been a derby, there's more Brummies there than even Rhyl now.

Look what happens when we do, though...

A sausage roll is just a handheld beef Wellington. I shall be taking no questions.

It has been confirmed that in the movie "Wicked: For Good," the part of Dorothy Gale will be played by Liam Neeson.

He was hired because he has a particular set of heels.

If you are feeling low, just remember: inside you, there are two wolves. Now look at how badly Wolves are doing this season. There's your explanation.

Vicky Cristina, Madrileña.

There is a very specific benefit to living in an apartment complex, especially at this time of year...

Wait, what? You mean, there are people who actually watch the adverts? They don't pre-record everything, and then watch later, fast-forwarding through the ad breaks? Weirdos.

There's an award-winning play in which that is one of the fundamental parts.

That was the most Football Manager match I think I've ever seen Villa have under Señor Emery.

If Pizza Hut has folded, is it now Calzone Hut?

I am sure you are all over this one already, but:
⚽️ When was the last time that two Villa players scored for England in the same match?
⚽️ When was the last time that two Villa players scored for the same nation in the same match?

Also on Ye Book of Face!

@avfcstatto.bsky.social I have been wondering for a long while - what are the stats for Villa when it compares to average points per Premier League match when the game is shown live on TV? Especially when compared to other teams? It has always felt to me as though we do worse than most teams.

These fellas painting the English flag on roundabouts are just Fathers 4 Justice now that the kids have grown up.

Ever hear about the contrary professional poet?

They charge you, per verse.

(Doesn't quite work when written down. Damn.)

Ouch.

"Togetherness" is the key word there.

"Are you happy with this news, Unai?"
"Marco Bizot."

To be fair, the last two words were superfluous.

I mean, I know it's sarcasm... and yet...

"I'm not at the ceremony tonight. This is because I'm currently in a waaaaaaaaahmbulance."

Of all the hills upon which you could have chosen to die, you selected a molehill. I used "Con-Dem" before 2010, referring to the pact that messed up Birmingham City Council. I used to joke that I hoped we never got a Con-Dem nation - it's always the hope that kills you (slowly).

I hate the wokes. Yeah, can't stand them. Annoying little sh¡ts. Can't even understand most of what they're saying. Hiding out in forests, chucking wooden spears, physically overpowering Imperial Stormtroopers... no, wait. Sorry, that's not the wokes, is it? That's the Ewoks.

New public uproar, as Liz Truss is caught on the Jumbotron at a concert.

She wasn't with another man or anything. It's just we were so close to forgetting all about her.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

If Walkers made mints, then spearmint would be in green packaging, and peppermint would be in blue.

At 25 years 291 days, is Ellie Roebuck the BBC's youngest ever professional footballer-pundit?