ChatGPT seems to be down and two-thirds of Brussels bubble stares blankly at their monitors not knowing how to do its jobs now

😆

Can't wait to see what the new name of the European Commission will be. Any thoughts?

Perhaps this strong politicization (and overt anti-Trump tone) helps explain why António Costa, who was expected to attend the event, canceled at the last minute, reportedly due to personal reasons… 👀

Still @neeratanden.bsky.social: “I want you to know that one day soon, you will have friends again in the U.S. government and the executive branch” hoping for an America that helps solve the world’s problems, not create them

It’s pretty clear that this Global Progressive Mobilisation has a strong anti-Trump edge, a reference obvious in @pes.eu president Stefan Löfven's words: “Democracy is not for supposedly strongmen or a platform for domination.” @neeratanden.bsky.social was more explicit: “Trump is failing”

A global rally of social-democratic parties that somehow feels like Eurovision…
Here in Barcelona for the Global Progressive Mobilization, an initiative clearly framed as an international counter to Trump-era politics, with Spain’s Pedro Sánchez positioned as the new face of this pushback

Hungary’s Viktor Orbán is set to lose next month’s election, according to polls.

Still, the EU is preparing for a world in which he wins.

We spoke to 10 diplomats about five ways the bloc could cope with the Hungarian leader if he stays in power 👇

🔗 www.politico.eu/article/5-wa...

5 ways the EU could cope with Hungary if Orbán wins again From less unanimous decision-making to informal sidelining, EU countries are already weighing how to move ahead without Hungary if Viktor Orbán wins reelection.

“The gloves will come off” if Orbán wins the election, said one senior EU diplomat, granted anonymity to speak freely along with 9 others in this article where @jacopobarigazzi.bsky.social i and I explore contingency options already making the round in Brussels
www.politico.eu/article/5-wa...

‘Veggie burgers’ are here to stay. Lab-grown ‘steaks’ never will be. A compromise that cleared the path for plant-based burgers, but banned other meaty terms, resolved a bitter food fight that pit traditional diets against food innovation.

Burger, sausage, and nuggets are fine for plant-based products, but drumstick isn’t—even though the word originally had nothing to do with food. So are drummers supposed to play with chicken legs now?
www.politico.eu/article/vegg...

Istanbul’s acting mayor: EU soft on Turkey because it needs Ankara Europe’s security needs have dissuaded it from confronting Turkey on rule-of-law issues, Nuri Aslan claims.

If Erdoğan’s opposition took power, Turkey would move quickly toward EU membership, says Istanbul’s acting mayor Nuri Aslan: “Within one or two years talks would accelerate, and maybe within three years we could join the EU”
www.politico.eu/article/ista...

After Berlaymonster, BerlayGod? In today’s Playbook: von der Leyen’s powerful chief of staff Björn Seibert—not Enlargement Commissioner Marta Kos—was summoned to defend the Commission’s idea of 'reverse accession'. One diplomat said they “don’t want to waste time” and “need to talk directly to God”

Von der Leyen, Kallas and a growing EU foreign policy turf war The EU’s top leadership is responding in parallel rather than tandem — as the bloc scrambles to find a united front amid war in the Middle East.

Kallas and von der Leyen didn’t speak to each other directly this weekend. This is the story of how the war in the Middle East further exposed uncertainties in the EU’s foreign policy chain of command

Here we go: A meeting of EU-27 ambassadors has been scheduled for today at 4:30pm in restricted format (just ambassadors, no phones) to discuss EU-US trade relations following the newly announced tariffs, per a Cypriot presidency source

On today’s Playbook: An early ECB vacancy could collide with the broader EU re-appointment calendar... and that’s where the fun begins.
Brussels may drift into deal-making mode… though whether leaders really want to reopen that Pandora’s box is another matter

Potential institutional conflict in sight with António Costa being downgraded to President of the EU Council in the Commissioners' calendar 😱

Love in a cold climate: Winter Olympic village runs out of condoms after three days Free condoms for competitors at the Winter Olympics have run out within a record-breaking three days

The stock of free condoms (10,000) for fewer than 3,000 athletes ran out in just three days. (I wonder how long the same supply would last in the EU bubble)
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...

(In case you don’t know what all that means and you still want to work in the EU bubble, you’re not quite there yet)

You’ve got to give it to Costa: This might've been the nerdiest post-summit presser ever, an orgy of EU jargon. The peak was probably von der Leyen arguing the EU needs fewer directives, more regulations, and far fewer delegated acts—while also floating "enhanced cooperation"

Brutal moment for EU jargon nerds: Nobody knows what "MFF" is, European Council president António Costa let it slip at the press conference following the EU leaders' retreat in Alden Biesen (and after momentarily forgetting the correct acronym himself)

"I'm freezing..." Italy's PM Giorgia Meloni discovers new parts of Belgium at the informal EU leaders' retreat in Alden-Biesen

Fortress Europe? EU leaders (once again) head to a castle for high-stakes talks. From Russia’s invasion of Ukraine to Brexit to 9/11, EU leaders have often used tough moments as a reason to head into the countryside.

Alden Biesen is not the easiest location logistically for an informal EU summit but it fits a pattern: when facing existential moments (from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine to Brexit and 9/11), EU leaders seem drawn to castles to ponder the continent's fate
www.politico.eu/article/info...

Imagine how complicated American football must be when even after a full political rant about a singer using Spanish, Trump still couldn’t resist complaining about how stupid one rule is. Like… sorry, I just can’t unsee it

Men’s ski jumping hits crunch time (shall I say crotch time?) and I can’t stop thinking about the poetry of this 'penis injection' thing which is not doping, just pure aerodynamics: 3 cm here become 5 to 6 extra meters down there by landing. Nothing lost, everything transformed

An extraordinary 'power play' (yes, that’s the actual name of the move) by Italy’s Stefania Constantini has been crucial to seal a 7–6 win over the U.S. in mixed doubles curling.
Even more extraordinary given minister Salvini was in the stands—famously a walking jinx for Italian athletes

Don't feed 'el loco' new ideas, Benito

Samyukt Kisan Morcha demands Goyal’s resignation, asks Modi to refrain from signing deal with U.S. Samyukt Kisan Morcha demands Piyush Goyal's resignation and protests against the U.S.-India trade deal's impact on farmers.

It's the same all over the world: Indian farmers' leaders called India-U.S. trade deal a “total surrender” to American agricultural multinational corporations, demanding Trade Minister’s immediate resignation
www.thehindu.com/news/nationa...

“Injecting hyaluronic acid in your dong” deserves to be an EPSO AD5 test option for male candidates under the question: How far would you go to become a lifelong eurocrat?

It’s always kind of sad when the cruelty of having drawn the shortest straw is so plainly on display