Tune the health stuff out. As long as he’s still moving around without assistance, odds are excellent he’ll survive the rest of his term

Good doggos are forever 💙

“Coming right up but you know our latest savings plan fetches even greater interest”

A golden retriever has both paws up at a bank teller’s window.

“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”

England law to ban phones for students in schools and you learned this from that wicked thing in your hand

Little voice inside my head said don’t wear black, you can never wear black

Imagine finding out at the end of your life that you were never more than just a plot device.

So much upside

Got on my high horse but forgot it was 4/20 now doc says no riding until the swelling goes down

Pro olds tip for summer an Orange Fanta with Metamucil will help you blend in sensibly at the riverwalk or rooftop bar

Same old song

Nuclear dust in the wind,
All we are is nuclear dust in the wind

My day spa stoner friends are so highbrow

A cosmopolitan American, I cook my pop tarts in a panini press

That’s it! Truly great 80s comedy!

Ngl when it comes to weed I’m like Mr. Mom “420, 421, whatever it takes”

You’re embarrassing yourself that was Donald Glover

Track 1: The Lord Sees You in There

So smart that you no longer need a cell phone to take a mirror selfie. Oh wait

I just had a team building scavenger hunt for the Monday meeting. So Monday’s can get worse, in fact.

Who said getting back to the office full-time isn’t crucial to company success

Hang on now there may be some shiny space junk up there

…and a shower tunes radio playing classic rock with limited commercial breaks

You kids and your fancy bathroom alchemy. Time was, all you need in the shower was a bar of soap, a can of Schlitz, and a crippling fear of intimacy

don’t invite me to your party unless you have a mystery for me to solve

Sponge Peter Square Eater!

For what doth cherish weeds but gentle air?

Good god what a miraculous thing to wake up to on a Monday. Incredible sound.

For this hard-boiled private detective every week starts with just another Mannix Monday