what if I graduated. how cool would that be

I think I’m finishing this chapter this week

this is also my feeling on posts that are like “how come characters rarely have mid or bad sex that’s awkward and embarrassing? it’s not realistic”. because you’re reading erotica. you’re reading ship fanfiction, which is mostly a romance/erotica genre. it’s porny because you’re in the porn aisle

realized half of this chapter is in fact a digression and needs to be edited down but the good news is that now I have space to elaborate on a bunch of other points so I'm trying to not freak out

don’t present if you’re feeling unwell but also at least now I know what that’s like? trying to look on the bright side after eating shit in front of like 100 people

had a minor medical event during my panel and totally flubbed answering this one guys simple question. emailed him later to ask if he wanted a real answer bc I’m no longer compromised and think he should know if he wants to. he has not responded. should I just walk into the ocean

Ever since I was a small boy I knew I wanted to complicate a dominant narrative in my field

buffalo wings are like 4 ingredients man. what are we doing.

i just remembered when I told my optician friend that I had bifocals starting at age sixteen and she said, verbatim, "you're literally old"

Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamd... @mayor.nyc.gov Locked, loaded, plowing.

Man I wish

my rule of thumb is that if anything fundamental to your research was found clearly labeled in a finding aid then i think you're disqualified from calling it "untold." put some respect on the archivist's name damn

it just reeks of a certain exceptionalism to me. is it untold or is it just news to you and your audience specifically. is this novel or is it just foreign. i think as historians it's very much our responsibility to know the difference and it feels irresponsible to disregard that. idk

canon event for me was going to a promo talk for a book like this and the author was talking about how she had gone to an archive named after the person in question dedicated specifically to preserving her story and effects. that's like the opposite of untold actually

intensely stupid pet peeve but it drives me nuts when a nonfiction book is subtitled as "the untold story of x" and meanwhile the footnotes are full of references to that story being carefully accessioned and diligently preserved --and, subsequently, told -- in archives many times over

i'm not going to stop masking and subject myself and other people to further disabling illness just because seeing me in public makes you uncomfortable. shut up and get a grip so help me gd

and sure enough yesterday was super normal except for one idiot that came up to tell me that i obviously "hadn't read the studies" about how masks don't work. the peer reviewed studies & 2yrs between now & my last covid infection while working with the public imply otherwise but go off loser

weirdly I do not get that much transphobic or homophobic abuse here but I do catch strays constantly for being visibly disabled between the cane and the respirator

rolled my ankle Very bad walking the dog and will have to take my cane to work for my last day :/ hope people are normal

it's funny because i think being told to dress for your age as a transgender person is always a little bit loaded. i often come off as being a fair bit younger than i am -- should I dress for how the world perceives me, or should I dress for my actual age?

removing my problem areas entirely

i got new glasses but unfortunately they arrived while I’m in the middle of a Body Dysmorphia Moment and so I can’t take pictures without wanting to do something drastic

and this experience is not exclusive to cis girlhood fyi or to any kind of mutually intelligible “afab” experience — should one even exist

also I wasn’t “socialized as a woman”; I was ostracized from womanhood by virtue of the fact that I was autistic and a gigantic egg. do not get it twisted

didn’t have a girlhood in a lavender glitter gel pen way but more in a “I have been spoken down to about my emotions and my point of view since the day I was born” way

i would only come closer to vindicating it from the grave if the ai started hallucinating wildly different anecdotes about me doing things with people in the woods and my relatives get scared. in this way it might even be closer to talking to me than it would've been otherwise

if i die and anyone puts my digital everything into an ai to "grieve" me:
1) then you never understood me
2) i will haunt you
3) i hope it shorts out and you hear way more about lesbian chemsex than you were ever ready to hear about in the first place

if they actually gave a shit about winning, they'd get newsom to run as a republican and split the republican vote. but they don't actually care about winning because it's easier to fundraise when you can pretend that you're the resistance party.

I think about miles in this context frequently as well. “as a person of mixed ishvalan descent, I pledge to change the system from within” and then he’s personally picked to give mengele a tour around his base