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Carl June's AACR Keynote Delayed After He Gets On Wrong Trolley And Ends Up In Tijuana SAN DIEGO, CA—The American Association for Cancer Research confirmed Tuesday that Dr.

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Graduate Student And PI Successfully Pretend Not To See Each Other At Trader Joe’s PALO ALTO, CA—Executing a series of increasingly elaborate maneuvers through the frozen foods section Monday evening, Stanford graduate student Kiran Shah, 27, and his principal investigator Dr.

4 days ago 13 1 0 0

PI Chuckles Quietly While Deleting Email Asking For Slides Before Conference CHICAGO, IL — Professor David Alderman, a tenured faculty member in the Department of Molecular Biology at the University of Chicago, reportedly chuckled quietly to himself Tuesday while deleting an…

5 days ago 5 2 0 0

Hims Announces Compounded Version Of Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte NEW YORK, NY — Telehealth company Hims & Hers announced Tuesday the launch of a compounded version of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, claiming a proprietary formulation that delivers the same…

6 days ago 4 0 0 0

Committee Member Asks Question He Knows Answer To HOUSTON, TX — Nodding slowly while steepling his fingers in a manner that sources described as “unnecessary,” Rice University thesis examiner Dr.

1 week ago 7 1 0 0

PI Asks Deported Postdoc If He’s Still Free To Finish Revisions BALTIMORE, MD — Noting that their revision to Molecular Cell was "almost there," principal investigator Dr.

1 week ago 4 1 1 0

Veterinarian Administering NCI Ivermectin Trial Asks Patient To 'Moo If It Burns' BETHESDA, MD — Dr.

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‘I Prioritize Safety Above All Else,’ Says Man Who Must Also Prioritize Grants, Teaching, Papers, Service, Travel, Recruiting, Mentoring, And Budget Above All Else Gainesville, FL—Emphasizing that nothing matters more to him than the physical well-being of the people in his laboratory, associate professor of biology Dr.

1 week ago 1 0 0 0

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"Trad Grad" Movement Celebrates Return To 80-Hour Weeks And Unquestioning Deference To PI ANN ARBOR, MI — Rejecting what they call the “soft, boundary-obsessed culture” of modern graduate education, a growing movement of self-described “trad grads” announced Tuesday that they are committed...

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PI Nostalgic For Era When One Person's Music Taste Was Inflicted On Entire Lab MADISON, WI—Expressing a wistfulness he could not fully articulate, professor of biochemistry Dr.

2 weeks ago 21 3 4 1

UT Austin Funding Restored After Rebranding DEI Office ‘Deportation Efficiency Initiative’ AUSTIN, TX — The University of Texas at Austin announced Tuesday that its DEI office would continue operations after rebranding to “Deportation Efficiency Initiative,” a change that resulted in full r...

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German Scientist Struggles To Keep Straight Face As American Colleague Suggests They’ll 'Just Go To Europe’ HEIDELBERG, GERMANY — Dr.

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Paper Titled ‘Glycans Of The Caribbean’ Continues To Haunt First Author’s CV PHILADELPHIA, PA—Fourteen years after its publication in the Journal of Biological Chemistry, a paper titled “Glycans of the Caribbean: Structural Analysis of N-linked Oligosaccharides in Marine…

3 weeks ago 19 6 2 3

Opinion: What Biology Needs Is A Man Who Has Never Heard Of Biology By Tyler Stanton, CEO, Cube Payments; Founder, Stanton Institute for Shipping Biology

3 weeks ago 6 3 1 1

Postdoc On Stilts Denied Entry To MacMillan Talk After Bumping Head On Door Frame ATLANTA, GA — A postdoctoral researcher's plan to observe Nobel laureate David MacMillan's crowded plenary lecture by walking in on drywall stilts concealed beneath an exceptionally long pair of…

inpreparation.substack.com/p/postdoc-on...

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Man Presenting Poster To Empty Aisle Trying Every Trick In The Book PHILADELPHIA, PA — Stationed in front of a poster that no one had looked at in forty-five minutes, fourth-year graduate student Marcus Webb reportedly cycled through every possible tactic in the book…

4 weeks ago 17 3 0 1

Journal Executive Enjoys Wagyu Funded By Dollars Meant To Cure Your Mother's Cancer AMSTERDAM or LONDON or CAMBRIDGE—Savoring the buttery texture of an A5 Japanese Wagyu ribeye at a Michelin-starred restaurant Monday evening, a senior executive at Elsevier or Springer Nature or…

1 month ago 7 1 0 0

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Opinion: Every Minute This Seminar Runs Over, I Am Paying A Dollar Per Minute To Day Care By Dr. Sarah Okonkwo, Assistant Professor of Biochemistry, Tufts University

1 month ago 3 0 0 0

Job Ad Specifies 'Self-Starter' Because Previous Postdoc Required PI To Physically Boot Him Up Like An Appliance DURHAM, NC—Updating a job listing for the third time in six months after failing to attract qualified candidates, professor of biochemistry Dr.

1 month ago 8 1 0 0

'Going Founder Mode' On Cancer Found To Be Ineffective Without One Billion Dollars CLEVELAND, OH — A widely shared profile of tech billionaire Sid Sijbrandij's innovative approach to treating his own cancer has inspired thousands of Americans to "go founder mode" on their own…

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FDA Assures Moderna They Can Still Review Oncology Applications As Friends SILVER SPRING, MD—Speaking in the calm, rehearsed tone of someone who has been practicing in the mirror all morning, the U.S.

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Opinion: I Spent $2,000 To Attend This Conference And I Will Be Damned If I Don’t Eat $2,000 Worth Of Cheese Cubes By Dr. Karen Mellick, Assistant Professor of Cell Biology, University of Arizona

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Academic Twitter Refugees Confirm New Platform Just As Good Except For Content, People, Discourse EVERYWHERE—Scientists who fled Twitter for Bluesky following the 2024 US Presidential Election confirmed this week that the new platform is "basically the same experience" except for the content, the…

1 month ago 5 0 0 3

Retired NIH Program Officer Requests Grandson Address Weaknesses From Last Year’s Christmas List Before Considering New Submission BETHESDA, MD—Explaining that he needed to see substantial revision before proceeding, retired NIH program officer Harold Wexler, 74, informed his grandson Sunday that he would need to address…

1 month ago 3 0 0 0

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Cancer Patients Lined Up In Cattle Chute For Ivermectin Clinical Trial BETHESDA, MD — Participants in the National Cancer Institute’s new ivermectin therapy trial were directed Tuesday to line up in a cattle chute for processing, in what agency officials described as…

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Opinion: It Truly Does Not Matter Who Is Listed First, Which Is Why I Should Be Listed First By Ms. Rachel Park, Co-First Author (Listed First)

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PI Encourages Grad Student To Pursue Postdoc With ‘Someone In The Academy, HHMI, Or Epstein Files’ CAMBRIDGE, MA — Noting that it was time to “start thinking strategically” about his career, Professor David Alderman encouraged fifth-year graduate student Pedro Santos on Tuesday to pursue a…

1 month ago 0 1 0 1

Weizmann Institute Updates Shelter Policy To Specifically Prohibit Mouse Experiments REHOVOT, ISRAEL — The Weizmann Institute of Science announced Tuesday that it had updated its bomb shelter policy to specifically prohibit the transport of mice, mouse cages, or "any ongoing mouse…

1 month ago 1 0 0 0

NIH Program Officers Build Elaborate Fort Out Of Unreleased Appropriations During Funding Holdup BETHESDA, MD — With grant disbursements stalled indefinitely pending White House approval, program officers at the National Institutes of Health have constructed an elaborate fort out of unreleased…

1 month ago 5 1 0 0

Opinion: A Modest Proposal For Preventing the Postdoctoral Researchers of America from Being a Burden on Their Parents, Their Institutions, or Their Nation’s GDP, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Semiconductor Industry.

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