Lol got suspended from the bird site for a full week for THIS? Maybe I'm getting close to having my account nuked :(

That's her hall pass

Album of the year has a horse butthole on the cover art and let me tell you; that horse butthole IS thematically relevant

It was no big deal. did I mention I had extra lisdexamfetamine so I took a double dose to see what it's like. Would you believe it made me anxious?

There's not as much content when I follow 60 people

There's a new type of guy probably

It wasn't even like a slide in the DMs situation it was just friendly banter holy god I'm stupid

I'm not forgetting fast enoughhhhhghhhh

The only way to post out is to post through.

Devious guy rubbing hands picture but not the antisemitic one

I'm probably out of everyone's algorithm cuz I never post here. Time to spam likes on all my internet buddies' posts with the ulterior motive of getting them to see my posts.

Ngl I had some bangers on here. Like most strokes of genius, unappreciated in their time

Shooting my smoke alarm with a gun

I eat cans of beer like gushers

My favorite state is west vagina

Searching zillow for "yawning chasm"

Maybe the modern satanic panic will be worth it if it results in a scene revival in 2040

Yummm eggs and penis sauce for breakfast

You want to kill me? Over my dead body.

I've been to the moon the McDonald's menu there fucking sucks

NUKE DAWNSTAR NOW

Remember in oldboy when he got sick of dumplings? That didn't make any sense. Dumplings taste so good.

I forgot how many cool people were smart enough to abandon the hell app. Unfortunately it's a one of a kind drug. You really can't get that same flavor of a insanity anywhere else

We've been monitoring your behavior, and have come to the conclusion that you're a dork. An absolute dweeb.

"yesterday" but I'm the only one that remembers what pooping is

Doing illegal gun modifications by turning it into drug paraphernalia in a way that renders the firearm inoperable

It's kinda crazy how when you're strung up by the legs upside down, ur head starts to feel funny after a bit

Bro ur castle is made out of sand I could seige that in like a minute

What's up bluesky? I'm gonna staying here for the weekend because I just faceplanted so hard in someone's dms that I felt the need to uninstall Twitter.

I need the Twitter plus two or I'm negative one funny

I want to leave Twitter for here, but everything I say here is automatically less funny by like at least two.