She fell asleep again and the Sabres scored immediately. I think she needs to be unconscious for the remainder of the playoffs.

My gf fell asleep when they were down 2-0 Sunday. Told her to take an Ambien halfway through the 2nd period tonight.

Holy shit I love this sport. Lmfao

GO SABRES

“Benson is crazy” seems to be a consensus from what I’ve seen lol.

I think I’ll go Benson, it fits because my favorite player on the Bills for years was Taron Johnson, another unhinged and undersized lunatic.

That seems to be somewhat of a consensus on this website lol.

- How the fuck do I keep up with who’s on the ice if they change shifts every minute?

- What are the Sabres the best at? Offense? Defense? Vibes?

- What’s one thing you think a new hockey fan should pay attention to/learn?

- How do goalies do that shit??

- Can I get a “Fuck Boston?”

Okay 90 minutes until game 2 and I’ve got some catching up to do:

- Why do we hate Tampa? Is it a long-standing feud? A new thing? Or just because Tampa is an inherently evil city?

- Who’s your favorite player?

- Who’s the most unhinged player? (They’ll probably be my favorite)

Continued 👉

My gf and I decided to watch the Sabres for the first time tonight. She fell dozed off early in the 3rd. She didn’t sleep for long lol.

Thank you! My expectations and blood pressure have both started very high!

Me at 7:30pm: I’ve never watched a full hockey game before but the Sabres made the playoffs so why not.

Me at 10:30pm: WAR PATH FUCK BOSTON ALEXA PLAY BETTER DAYS WHILE I RUN THROUGH EVERY WALL IN MY HOUSE.

So that set very high expectations for my first hockey game lmfao.

Goddammit, I’m hooked. This game is fucking amazing. The city of Buffalo is amazing.

…might grab an extra drink just in case.

As someone who knows nothing about hockey, it’s a nice change to be angry and clueless. This has been me for the last 40 minutes:

This is my first time watching a Sabres game (and first time watching a full hockey game).

Is it normally this infuriating or is adding another sport to my rotation going to end with me on blood pressure medication? Just wondering if I should schedule a doctor’s appointment in the morning.

Maybe my pay has kept up with inflation. But if every appliance in my kitchen is now “smart” but only lasts 3 years, a bag of chips is half as full as it used to be, and I “buy” a movie with no DVD extras on Amazon that Amazon can still remove from my library, then I’d say the economy fucking sucks!

I know it’s a joke, but the decline in quality for literally every product — art, tech, appliances — is definitely part of it.

Like there might not be a statistically notable decline in what we can afford. But what we get for our money makes it feel like we’re getting ripped off (because we are).

I read the first 20 questions and thought it was an autism assessment.

This person has done more to stop the war than every elected Democrat.

How’s everyone’s morning? Mine started with chasing one of our cats around the house because she got scared of a massive turd stuck on her ass hair.

Yeah part of why he’s such a bad liar is because he’s too aware that he’s lying.

ITS GREAT

TO BE

A MICHIGAN WOLVERINE

America has always been the land of gullible dopes. We’re the people who invented snake oil salesmen and middle-level marketing schemes.

The better explanation is that Trump has managed to be successful in life precisely because millions of people are easy marks.

You’ll get Chubb only and you’ll like it!

A middling EDGE past his prime on a “manageable” deal. Beane really stepping out his comfort zone on this one.

I see the Bills have selected an ACL to sacrifice to christen their new field.

The worst thing about this is you KNOW Beane thought he cooked here.

Uninspired overpay on a past-his-prime edge rusher. The Big Baller Beane special.