"I love being a DoorDash Grandma. I love Donald Trump, I bring him McDonald's. I use my own car. I never want to retire. I'm glad Donald Trump is making sure Grandmas like me will have to DoorDash forever. I'm DoorDash Grandma!" - DoorDash Grandma

Close-up from the "Trump Jesus" post of a grim-faced Kenny Rogers-bearded motherfucker with an AI-slopped hat that reads some gibberish roughly approximating "PEBƱ\/Ω"

[P] You can spot a true American patriot by his "PEBƱ\/Ω" hat

Another close-up on the AI slop "Trump as Jesus" post, this one of the central figure in a number of sorta military-like figures; this particular one vaguely resembles someone in a Guyver suit, but with four arms and a spiked Statue of Liberty-style crown, I guess?

[P] Also, I assume this is MechaHitler

Okay what about this: in 2028 we elect people to office who aren't the biggest dip shits you've ever met.

A WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE TONIGHT My son needs lunch, and I have to put his backpack together, but a whole civilization will die tonight, so I'm wondering if they've closed their schools. Like, a snow day, maybe, except instead of snow it's "keep your children home so if you die, you die together" — instead of "well open back up once the plows have cleared" it's "we don't know if we'll be here tomorrow, hold your babies tight." It's just "talk" I'm told, which I've been told before. "It's how the president makes his deals." But I've never heard anyone talk about other human beings this way, and I'm not certain I can look my son in the eyes if we all agree to stomach it one more time. A civilization will die tonight, but as I zip up his backpack and kiss him off to school I think: if this is what we call leadership then I'm not entirely sure ours isn't already dead. @michaelfdubois Mukad A QuBoy @michacifdubois

Brutal.

Wow. Another EXCELLENT essay by Michael Ian Black! I've got to give this guy a follow!!!

Shame, maybe they can plummet off a cliff about it

1) pic of Melissa and Mark Hortman 2) pic of Melissa Hortman and dog Gilbert

Remembering MN house speaker Melissa Hortman, her husband Mark and their beloved dog Gilbert. Murdered in June at their home by a rightwing Trump-voting evangelist, who also shot another MN lawmaker and his wife at THEIR home, 9 and 8 times, respectively (miraculously, they survived).

tell me you have a small penis without telling me you have a small penis

Huh. HUH. @jococruise.bsky.social

hell? yea, brother

You misspelled EvilCorp

There must be a preference somewhere you need to toggle because I definitely do this all the time.

It’s short for Space XPlode

Every accusation is an admission

They told me if I voted for Kamala we'd have Middle East war, inflation, an economic slump, weaponization of DOJ, no peace in Gaza or Ukraine and incompetents all over govt. Well, sure looks that way now.

May his life on this earth and the pain of his passing become as a dream to his waking soul, and let his eyes fall upon every lovely sight; let him find the friends that were lost to him, and let everyone whose name he calls call his in return.

Remember how Iran was two months away from having a nuke? That was 1996

This is Dump speak for “gonna forget about it and hope it’s fixed itself in two weeks”

It’s obvious but worth drawing out what raids of Home Depot’s of all places is about. It’s rounding up people who are really eager for work and for whom there is work, peoples whose labor is in demand. We know this but shows just how far it is from rounding up just the bad guys.

the thing I hate most about that rfk quote is that autistic lives have value and worth and beauty and dignity whether they are able to do the things other people do or not. no one is defined by ability or lack thereof and to frame divergence as lack is monster stuff, utterly godless

What if Elon is the first autistic person RFK has ever actually met and that’s why he assumes we don’t pay taxes or go on dates

i am like 80% serious when i say that woke is the only thing that kept this country together

The child speaks truth

Yes, the stock market may be tanking and our national security apparatus has never been more vulnerable and we're on the verge of both economic collapse and war, but it was all worth it to keep pronouns out of email signatures.

Whoops!

On Transgender Day of Visibility & we couldn't be more proud of the cruisers who came together to create and display this banner as we left port. We love this community & we believe that JoCo Cruise is better because of our transgender & non-binary family, friends, colleagues, guests & performers

We’re in the final stretches of winter and I think we’re all TAF of the cold. Have you seen us play this tune live before? If so, where and when?