posting nagano pics

lmao

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

chinese people were cooking when they invented chinese food

lmao yes

Scrooge: *from the 60th floor*
you there, boy, what day is this?

Tiny Tim: why it's 9/11 sir

a textbook, a pencil, and a friend who speaks the language

every other week

Web version of the "who's the prick" game from athletico mince

OpenAI’s strategy is very clear, it’s trying to get people - especially young people - so reliant on its products intellectually & emotionally (& now sexually!) that going without them becomes unthinkable. And they need signs of that strategy working to keep the funding flowing in

jack off all trades, masturbate none

the perfect sniper doesn’t exi-

I'd use this ✌️

i'm cool

ozzy osbourne dies
everyone: "enjoy hell (complimentary)"
hulk hogan dies
everyone: "enjoy hell (derogatory)"

Me (being caught in bed with an optical illusion): it’s not what it looks like.

!wow

𝗜𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗡

𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗥𝗢𝗧

Jesus christ!

mystery flavour

a delicious can of スイートキッス

tasty

nice

Road sign, mounted on two poles on a grass verge, saying CHILDREN DRIVE CAREFULLY

absolute bollocks, some of them can’t even see over the steering wheel

This *has* to be a fake byline, surely?

feel like in just a slightly alternate timeline only australians would be shortening combination to combo

raw log

𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗧𝗥𝗬
𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗢 𝗜𝗧

I don't know, but you can probably rule out American ignorance. They usually hypercorrect *towards* long vowel sounds, not away from them

𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚

i could win a street race