9 hole executive course. 8 pars and a bogey. I am bad but maybe not today.
I normally avoid any discussion of my golf game because I am bad. 27 hcp should give you the idea.
But holy fuck was I on one today. Eagled 9 last time but still shot lower today. Incredible greens for a muni course.
Titsla
Lmaooooooo that was perfect. I just cackled so loudly I startled my daughter
Pretty jazzed to see The Onion reporting on my research
“Remember that last line!” I shout to my students as they ignore my advice and flail
“Done pooped myself”
Decided I was fucking done with work today, so I left. And played 18. And then grabbed some German food and beer.
Then got yelled at by my wife for ditching work to golf. Worth it.
My dad pretends not to care any more, but he was tickled to hear that Rizzo still thinks about him listening and celebrating at his dad’s grave.
youtu.be/VYHgWIo48eA?...
This is just so, so pathetic.
Instead of ‘showing us how good umps actually are’ or whatever the bullshit media line is, this is gonna cause a push for 100% ABS.
Sure, six got overturned, but DOZENS did not.
@dtpollitt.bsky.social add this to your file
I-40 end to end, plus the rest of the way to Santa Monica. I wrote a poorly received set of newspaper articles about it, likely because I was 22 and snuck a shocking amount of dick an fart jokes past the editor.
Maybe, just maybe, we should stop naming every building, street, park, bird, and basketball court after people. Save taxpayers money, if nothing else.
Getting milkshake ducked is a promise at this point.
“In honor of his favorite film, The Big Lebowski, Bill will take the stage one last time – in a Folgers can.” “Long live the legend of Billy Ray Larr.”
A fella from my golf club passed recently. Here’s his obit with a final, perfect, event planned and OH MY GOD:
DANIEL PALENCIA IS A WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC CHAMPION.
Playing off E-JAE et al was fucking disrespectful.
Can you tell i have a 4 yr old
My picks for this year's Oscars:
Lead actress: Kelly Lynch, ROAD HOUSE
Lead actor: Patrick Swayze, ROAD HOUSE
Supt. actress: Kathleen Wilhoyte, ROAD HOUSE
Supt. actor: Sam Elliott, ROAD HOUSE
Director: Rowdy Harrington, ROAD HOUSE
Best picture: ROAD HOUSE
I though Marquee folded
i think we should all remember him how he wanted to be remembered, since he took so much effort to get the special silver sharpie and everything. fuck you, you unrepentant, homophobic piece of shit.
Medium rare tri tip, suck it, jerks
This is not a pretty picture, but I tritipped in grand fashion
Solid list. I had Art from Justified. But also had Ryan Zinke as Sec Interior on my work account, that was pure pride. Blocked by a fed for offering to educate.
50/50 chance
Most understated “Oh my god” ever
I did this slide into second in a men’s league game a few years back. Got a lot of mocking comments. It was actually a natural method of avoiding a tag!
But god I felt cool as fuck.
[as politely as possible to all of these people] It's just going to come down again, except you're not going to find it next time.
Wave after wave!
Suddenly heard wailing. Thought she was in pain again! Came running, asking what was wrong.
“I MISS THEO!!!”
I accidentally ripped open some freshly healed wounds. Sorry, little one, and god damn you Futurama.
I fucked up.
Daughter has an ear infection, posted up on the couch watching TV.
Convinced her to watch Futurama instead of Frozen. Big win, she loves Bender. I’m sure she’ll discuss that in therapy some years later.
Problem is I wasn’t paying attention to which episodes were playing.
