What is your most chaotic formative memory? Mine is being harnessed to a Red Flyer wagon like a Husky for my jr high “Iditarod” — a multidisciplinary project meant to teach us about the statute of limitations on child abuse I guess?

What’s that? It’s midnight and time to go to bed? Ok lemme just trim every cuticle and pluck every stray hair on my body real quick

Nobel Prize but the category is inventing a system for remembering to use your CVS coupons.

The viral Diet Coke and McDonald’s french fries migraine cure doesn’t hit the same when it’s Coke Zero and Five Guys fries made by a teenager at the Glendale Galleria. Turns out generic drugs don’t work as well as brand names.

Diet Coke is my mom & Coke Zero is my step-mom. I will not be elaborating further.