Posts by Brian Cartwright
Lololol
I am loath to do this, but I need your help. My 20+ year marriage has unexpectedly imploded. There's a kid involved. Aside from Lupus, Autism and a shitty 2009 Mazda, I have nothing. Things are fairly desperate right now, so if you can help out now in any way at all I'd be really grateful ❤️
I wish the world wasn’t awful. If the world wasn’t awful I could feel excited about mankind’s return to the moon.
Gary Whitson has been filming SOV sleaze in a corrugated steel warehouse for 30 years and then selling it by mail order catalog.
Neon has never had a popup to sell tote bags marketing a Gary Whitson film.
Agree on Nobody 2. And fwiw my issues with the first aren’t with Odenkirk’s performance.
Agree. People watched and learned the wrong lessons so we ended up with crap like Bullet Train and Nobody .
As much as I love John Wick a decade of irony pilled, glossy action films that snicker at their own existence has kinda of sucked.
As a fan of a lot of the Cannon Group’s action output I encourage you to interrogate why you dig them if you do. Also, you’re allowed to like Invasion USA and think Chuck Norris is a piece of trash.
Travis is the number one resource for insight into films where people are wrenched apart by desire. Lot of great films/performances on that list. Cheering for the Joan Severance representation.
Timothee hangs, suspended by his ankles. Mugwumps surround him, languidly licking at his sweet, fetid scent. His whole body smells like a fucked gym sock. Groggily, he speaks.
“Oscars. OSCARS.”
A nude Kylie slithers into the room holding a coat hanger between 4 rows of teeth.
“No sweetie, prom.”
My country is an evil parasite and the bread and circuses offered to its own people is foreign war, for the bloodthirsty to cheer and the impotent coward to post about ineffectually.
Backrooms is either going to make a shit ton of money or be forcefully rejected by Zoomers because not all of the weird, goofy Reddit lore about the backrooms is represented. NO LEVEL 458, THE RUBBER DUCK BARNES & NOBLE LEVEL? FUCK THEIR TEMPLE OF LIES.
Am convinced Lee Cronin’s THE MUMMY is going to do huge numbers. Normally, I think speculating on box office is boring and reductive but there’s something about when and what cultural classes have fetishized Egyptian history that is fascinating.
Oh good, a panic attack. At least it’s been a while since the last one.
DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is such a wet fart. Charles Gray couldn’t wash Telly Savalas or Donald Pleasance’s socks. Connery just looks bored and his banter with Jill St. John routinely rises to cruel. A weary nihilism hangs over the whole thing.
“Why aren’t there writers like X anymore?”
Motherfucker, imagine George Plimpton trying to balance the work required for Paper Lion with delivering enough Uber Eats to live.
Me: *looking at Letterboxd* Why did all these people watch this dogshit movie directed by Coughing Baby?
*receives text from friend*
Friend: Ugh. They’re showing Coughing Baby on Joe Bob tonight.
Apparently Mary Pickford’s bullshit on the set of SPARROWS and in the press afterwards was so much it gave William Beaudine facial paralysis. That’s gotta be contentious actor/director relationship hall of fame, right?
Same energy as Fighting Baseball for the SNES.
TFW you realize selecting romantic partners for either anaclitic or narcissistic reasons is terrible in your case but there’s nothing you can do about it.
Barely escaped layoffs today. I hate this timeline.
Have not watched anywhere near the full nominee slate because I’ve been too busy with silent film and historically important porn. I’m very excited to not have a Hamnet take and aim to keep it that way.
The Shining
The Thing
Scarface
Ishtar
The Blair Witch Project
Showgirls
The Razzies are nothing but petty cruelty by people who don’t know ball. Fuck ‘em.
Spent most of Pillion wanting to rescue Harry Melling and take him for an ice cream sundae. You deserve better, sweet boy.