Who gonna tag FIFA in?

Think if they knew how many loogies were added to their meals.

I think they thought people would hate-watch. We are really just hate-ignoring.

Cut off the hot water heaters. Make them take cold showers every fucking day while you're at it.

Don't get your hopes up.

"We're sorry. The number you have reached does not give a shit."

Don't these guys describe themselves as tough guys? Six on one and he was still scared for his life? Their own story shows they have lousy agents.

The upside of watching your elderly mother continually fail the cognitive test? She doesn't know who the current president is!

You're right. I won't say anything.

Is this another Republican with a black eye on TV? What's going on with these people? #TomCotton #ViolentRepublicans

It was flawless. Perfection. 10 out of 10. Chef's kiss.

"And I'm not giving him back that piece of shit Tesler!"

--Donald Trump, probably

Who won in Godzilla vs. Mothra? Asking for a friend for no apparent reason....

Didn't you hear? We're not rich because we don't work hard enough!

They gave up that facade years ago.

"Hold my beer, All Lives Matter Wussies. NO LIVES MATTER! How 'bout dat???"
-Joni Ernst, Probably

I just read a headline that said Elon Musk is looking for who is to blame for his massive unpopularity. Are you telling me that the richest man in the world does not own one single mirror?

Who Wore It Better? Scummy Parenting Edition:

*Elon Musk blaming his 5 y/o for the black eye
*Ted Cruz blaming his daughters for the Cancun trip
*DJT running his mouth about Hunter's drug problems while his own son seems to be the one with a current problem ❄️

Thoughts? Who did I leave out?

Can we all scream about death panels now?

I had Little House on the Prairie on while I worked today. Miss Beadle assigned a project on the Civil War. A parent complained to her about teaching such emotional subject matter. Miss Beadle told that guy to kick rocks. That would never happen in today's Florida, and I hate this timeline.

I hope those bank execs who shilled for Trump realize that he has pardoned people who defrauded banks for tens of millions of dollars and emboldened more crooks. Something something reap, something something sow.

They want you to think they believe in those things.

Overheard at a food truck festival...
"We just got back from Belize, and there was no American food ANYwhere."

You know "Murder on the Dancefloor"?
Well I just got "Fat Shamed at the Wawa."
🤬

Could you imagine, though? She does CPR and then has him arrested for yanking her arms up and down.

I hope he sings like a canary.

It seems that the "All Lives Matter" crowd didn't really mean it.

Dear Canadian Friends - my thoughts are with you today. I hope you don't get into the same mess that we, your neighbors to the south, have gotten into.

I just saw a headline that said Poiliever is the Ron DeSantis of Canada. I hate this for you.

-A Floridian