Meme from Mean Girls altered to say “STOP TRYING TO MAKE WR SCREENS HAPPEN, ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN”

Dear Joe Brady, Offensive Coordinator of the Buffalo Bills:

I'm sorry but 17 is simply too young to become Dancing Queen. The Dancing Kingdom needs experienced leadership during these troubling times.

This is high art

I’m not doomscrolling I’m just crashing my emotional stock market

Yup. Everywhere.

Every safety regulation was written in blood, frequently with a body count higher than one, and it’s not political to put the blame on people who want to “move fast and break things” when they start breaking human lives.

Ben Affleck, dressed in Bills Mafia gear, questioning the meaning of life while holding a cigarette.

Go Bills.

my favorite part of parenting is getting my kids ready for school. cajoling, repeating myself, grinding my teeth as I shake with rage — I love starting each day the angriest I’ve ever been

You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.

I know books are cheaper and hand delivered to your door step if you order on Amazon. I know. I understand times are rough and things are expensive. I just ask you please consider once in a while to go to a local bookstore. Or visit a library. They'll even order books for you. Please I beg of you.

Innovative Study by UPenn and NYPL Finds That Public Libraries Positively Impact Community Health and Well-Being "Our research found that patrons experience refuge, joy, connection, purpose, and expansion through their library use"

This is really interesting. Groundbreaking study on the value of libraries and “third places.”

“A whopping 82% of people who used the library’s physical space and 79% of people who physically attended programs reported more optimism regarding the future, compared to only 58% of digital-only users.”

Go Bills.

thank you LAFD, today illustrates why a great man once said “nobody ever made a song called ‘fuck the fire department’”

Now *that’s* a good neighbor, Allie.

Also love how the stick figure has their hands on their hips and look a little stern about it. This is not a request.

As a friend and neighbor, it was your duty, honestly. So much enjoyment from one grapefruit!

FOR ENJOYMENT

Read this recently, and when we talk of Billionares I think it needs explained every time.

A million seconds is 12 days. A billion seconds is 31 years.

We have entered the season of no meal rules. Dessert is breakfast. Dinner is lunch. A snack is an entire honey-mustard ham

The hardest thing about being an Italian donkey must be how hard it is to make the 🤌 with your hooves

The story of Husker Du in 8 locations or why is everyone in Minnesota so f*cking nice. A 🧵

Can I just say, making fun of New Jersey was only ever a thing because the New Yorkers who wrote TV shows in the 90s only knew about three states.

New Jersey is great.

Dang. Makes me want to put on headphones and sit alone at the State Diner, nursing a Bo burger and fries.

a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed Alt: a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed as he rubs his forehead in deep existential pain, almost as if his favorite hockey team has been feckless for over a decade.

I… I just… *sigh*

morpheus from the matrix

What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.

10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment.

#tfw the miller's daughter realizes your name is Rumpelstiltskin.