yesss congrats on the official divorce ❤️

kelly hiiii <333 i'm chilling and whatnot. how are you? i hope you're thriving

oh yeah they're all the way north

foxes love to run out right in front of you. they can't get enough of it.

like. girls who had literally just never been told by anyone that 1200 cals isn't enough

but also a surprising number of people commented that they had no idea that we actually need as many calories as we do and i was the reason they realized they were undereating so that was actually really nice

yeah i got like 800k views i think? that was an Era. ed tiktok came for me lol

vote for me as premier of alberta and i'll launch a program wherein adolescents with a tendency for hazardous thrillseeking will be hired to shoot tranq darts filled with flea and tick medication at moose and deer

man i could really go for a doomed expedition to the northwest passage rn

miya folick voice i'm a gemini

google search how to kill yourself and then immediately bring yourself back without anyone knowing about it at home diy under $50

i literally just need to be turned off and on again. defibrillate me twice or something

oh that's smart

google searc i got krazy glue all over my fingers while trying to erect a shrine to something irrevocably lost how to remove krazy glue from hands

let me just slip into something a bit more comfortable 😏 [high dives looney tunes style into a vat of acid]

the autism in action

i hope i'm not just an influencer to you guys but also, a nobody

thank you my queen 🙇

"not enough resources" this app has something of the church basement about it. the fluorescents are flickering, the bathroom which hasn't been updated since 1982 is out of order and the box of donuts sheryl brought is. well we shant speak of the donuts.

wtf does invalid handle mean. my handle is one of the only valid things about me

i can't actually watch the thing bc the dog being fucked up and killing the other dogs would most likely upset me so badly i'd cry or maybe even die. yes i read the synopsis

when you're saying i should try to get out more and make more friends irl this is who you're saying that to

everyone will be too busy wondering who dr pepper ii might've been to even notice

rebecca ricardo or dr pepper iii for instance

as a bit you should refer to him by a different fake name in every post

food 4 thought

bluesky? um well while you're at it why don't you take a moment to consider the humble blueglow the adhesive on a bandaid or nasal strip wrapper emits when you open it in a dark room