making inception noises with my mouth as i go crazy on the genitals

one promise the cyberpunk future failed to deliver on is multinational corporations murdering each other en masse (and plenty of good paying jobs murdering corporate suits). would be a lot better if these guys were actually thinning out their ranks instead of banding together

Moving SUCKS and I'm WEAK and LAME and have NO WILLPOWER to THROW OUT my STUFF

banjo kazooie never would have let this happen to america

I miss my beans :(

When I'm in a "wow it smells good in here" competition and my opponent is onions and garlic:

Spent eighty dollars on Pokémon cards before my check engine light came on can I get an F in the chat

I looked so hot today and all I did was work what a waste

If you're wondering how things are going for me just know I'm doing yoga to help me shit

The tkachuks are just the Logan and Jake Paul of hockey

I love you my sunshine

Sideways selfie

You're all my valentines now. Get fucked I love you

"Oh my god, Jong Bovi??"

When I'm in a "wow it smells good in here" competition and my opponent is onions and garlic:

Popping in to complain

I had a dream that Jeremy clarkson mailed 20,000 mosquitos with malaria to Bristol so they could breed in the stillwater in the pot holes and force the city to fill them

Larry Ellis looks like Mel brooks in spaceballs

ACAB includes Punxsutawney Phil

Remember the trend like four years ago when all the worst dudes you knew were putting on French maid outfits. What even was that

"There's so many gay people in this kitchen. It's like a lavender marriage for the mashed potatoes"

Is anyone else concerned at the massive volume of ai run bot accounts in the comments of real videos claiming the video is ai when it's not? To desensitize people to everything as potential ai so no one will question or trust the things they see anymore? No? Just me?

I've stared into the belly of the machine and it was running DOOM

And Alexander wept, for there was no more hamburger to help

A YouTuber I watch sometimes is on in the background while I do other things and for some evil reason there was an equals three transition sound used in the video and my head snapped around like a sleeper agent who's been activated for ww3

If you paid for a ringtone advertised on late night cable tv with that cursed 3D animated rabbit you should speak to your doctor about osteoporosis prevention

Nice argument. However, I've already depicted you as the over designed solar flare foid modern SUV and myself as the classic, perfectly engineered standard
American sedan

Who up rediscovering their love for creativity on a random Friday