Ask yourself wwjd? Because sometimes the answer is flip table and swing on a bitch

Sometimes you've just gotta find a kinda disturbing image to send to your friends to really feel alive

I believe today is the day that I lose what is left of my tenuous hold on reality

Goodnight

You're a bear not an anteater...

I haaaaate waiting to give a gift

Being human is just great

My 5 year olds to 4 favorite dads in order
1) his grandpa
2) "idk" I guess the concept of a dad
3) Bandit from Bluey
4) me, his actual dad who plays with him and feeds him

a drawing of a hand pointing at a red point on a line Alt: a drawing of a hand pointing at a red point on a line

"Straight"

That design is fuckin cool

Milo the Gray gently asks for some attention by trying to look as cute as possible

He wants attention. #caturday but a day late

To the people with PCPS and/or endometriosis diagnoses’ : how did you get there? What were your symptoms? How did you communicate it to your Dr?

A stuffed turtle named Window with a shark hat on

My kids name their stuffed animals, my 8yo named this guy Window

Did you graduate magna cum laude?

I hope it works for you! Also I would like to see what you're looking for

Take us with you? Like go around taking pictures thinking about captions to go with them

That looks awesome

You mean the earth?

Giving big "Imma take your bag energy"

I need approximately 4 shots of espresso straight to my veins

This really was my fault for not evolving better

I would actually burn a house down

You know, maybe it helped make the day better because of that

Well for a day that started out with me getting hit directly and completely unprepared in the nuts by a football, it was pretty good

I'm terrible

I know!

Camping with my kids, 6yo woke up mad at me because he thinks I unzipped his sleeping bag and uncovered him and then put a blanket over him. I put the blanket on him because it was cold and he kept pushing his sleeping bag off in his sleep.

It’s so impressive how quickly Jesse can produce new fully thought out outstanding lyrics.

When I see a picture of you my brain has to reset and I look like that for a minute

Elton John, I'm still standing