Less 2025. More 2020-Sax. (I’m looking at you, Kenny G.)

To the owner of the brand new
Alfa Romeo parked in front of
my mailbox - Touché,
Ambassador Fancy Pants.
Touché!

Airline Announcement:
All passengers with children
under 2 years of age may now board.

The single man sitting next to me with no kids rushes to board.

Everyone has a side hustle these days and, by everyone, I mean…

When you take your kid
to the gym and her workout
consists of cleaning all the machines with wet wipes.

They should offer financial
aid for dating.

Can’t believe my hubs is
hosting The Oscars tonight.
Go get ‘em, honey!

Me: types the word
“better”

Autocorrect: changes it
to “Lucy”

New sentence: He’s about
85% Lucy.

At the grocery store and
it looks like a lot of men
are making flowers for
dinner tonight.