dance like nobody’s watching, post like everyone has already muted you

sounds like a euphemism. “Nah, he left early, sounds like he’s out for a Mandelson appointment”

Today a person can work two jobs for fifty hours a week and struggle to make ends meet, while in the stone age, a weird bird could be a hairdryer for a caveman for like five minutes every morning and it was a living.

dance like nobody’s watching, post like everyone has already muted you

some people pay good money for gimp humiliation

the radio in my car doesn’t work and neither do my headlights i am accelerating hard past a school

they should make a 4/20 for booze to make it cute when i drink drive

classic n-parent scapegoat and golden child dynamic

🫵 terf

not so much a hierarchy as playing them off against each other. when we’re turning in for the night we like to reflect on which one won today, and then tell them they’re the favourite and far superior to the other one

you can’t tell me how to raise them this isn’t mumsnet

does get bodyshamed A LOT though

she doesn’t get called things like that because she’s the apple of my eye

but they’re not. why would i lie to them.

most, tbh

baby bin bin fighting with her sister so much

well well well

or p-weez, for short

oh so your ex gets to be the “fun” poster and you’re the one that puts in all the structure but gets no credit for it?

stop chewing plastic you fucking nonce

when the cat hits a certain level of unacceptable behaviour, we break out the high-level nicknames (Paedoweasel, Baby Bin Laden)

honestly, it’s not such a bad life. once i’ve fed enough to be engorged i’m pretty warm and cosy. feel like i can start to self-actualise on this underbelly.

the ancient technologies have been forgotten

I tried to do a gupp post but it came off as a vulgar pastiche, disrespectful to both the artist and the craft as a whole. We need to show due regard.

if i didn’t have to do the 3am torment shift i wouldn’t!

why would i let anyone else judge me when i’ve got 34 more years of context and can do a waaaay better job

Jerry Garcia? the guy from the ben and jerry's flavour?

this website is for getting validation from strangers, after all

hbd!

just found out that one of her main activities when she leaves the house is to stare through nextdoor’s cat flap and hiss at their cat (luna, a blameless angel)