Sure am glad it’s impossible that bad actors have gotten access to Mythos already, otherwise we’d be screwed, phew

A straight banana was
My first real clue
The Simulation was
Just giving up

Happy birthday!

Holy shit

Will the apocalypse
Be shown commercial-free
Or will it have sponsors

A hand is holding an unusually straight banana

A straight banana
Was my first real clue
The Simulation
Was just giving up

All these challenge coins use lead-based paint

No, I “reported spam”

Spam text message saying “I found your number saved but can’t remember your name. Could you remind me?”

It’s the name you shrieked
As I ran across the rest stop parking lot
Towards the burning wreck

I should have listened
Thought I could maybe help
But all that was left was ash

Poetry prompt for 4/15/26:

Reply to a spam text

#poetry #poetryprompt

On 4/1/26 I permanently abandoned my TikTok (160k followers) and Instagram (40k followers) in favor of exclusively posting #poetry on Bluesky.

It’s been an unqualified success! The reactions to my poems have exceeded my wildest hopes.

Thank you for following me on this #poetic #journey ✍️

If only this technology had existed when Clint Eastwood talked to that chair

Such a real smile

I’m the negotiator
Whose job is to add a clause
That (while inconsequential)
Makes it sound like a new deal

Leading contenders so far:
-Imaginary peace prize
-Floating golf course in the Straight
-Naming rights to the End Times

I respect a big swing like this

I sell chunks of my
Remaining time alive
To Private Equity

So dramatic but
Honestly I’m grateful to
Have even found a buyer

“In this economy”
As the joke goes and
Also everything else

🙏

I recommend going with “the separation between our lives is an illusion”

No one would blame the
American astronauts for
Defecting to the Moon

2026 (250)

I’m told 1976 was a blast
Red white & blue everything
It’s not every day you turn 200

Plus we’d weathered ‘Nam & Nixon
Hallelujah, lessons learned
Wink wink nudge nudge

We tend to stop throwing parties
When we realize we’re closer
To death than we are to birth

Never thought I’d long for JD Vance to return to the U.S. as quickly as possible

One nice gesture
Would be commercial-free
Apocalypse coverage

One of your neighbors would get a frantic phone call from their cousin (wife of a Washington think tank big shot)

Grok is this tru

I guess we should also set the air on fire? Dual use, the soldiers breathe it

PRESIDENTIAL
EASTER MESSAGE

War crimes ha ha
Fuckin’ bastards in Hell
Praise be to Allah

My God lives in Canada
You’ve never met Him

MOTHER SHIP

Missing the metaphor
We are lifted up
Into the underside
Of the Mother Ship

We lie on a table
Under bright lights
While the wise ones
Inspect our bottoms

They place us in pods
And sing us stories
Of far away worlds
As we drift off

Hush Money Recipient

Did you hear the plan
We’re all pretending
We’re only liars
One day in April