My kids were playing a cooking simulator and the younger one kept suggesting they “add vanilla to the chicken cutlet”

me: please tell me you know that’s a bad idea

her: yes I’m rage baiting

He can’t have that one ™️

My kid said he used my “stern mom voice” yesterday to get someone’s attention yesterday because it’s “not yelling but still kind of terrifying and effective”

Please join me for my masterclass this summer

wild that the easter bunny waited a week and 1/2 to build a nest and then drop extra candy in our back patio

We were also clear on what was happening at all times

very chill and normal episode and honestly a perfect starting place if you’ve never listened before

my kid just started playing Dredge and hearing the beautiful music and the fishing mechanic noise now I want to play Dredge again

Really wanted a cut to a boom operator during that shoutout #Survivor50

Trying out a new fragrance called “I keep filling my damn coffee too high and now I’m wearing it”

NOT SAFE FOR WINDOWS

window proofing, baby

It’s the unnerving addition you never knew you needed!

googly eyes truly upgrade every cookie

big news

I’m making two different kinds of rolls for tomorrow and absolutely yelled “are you BREADY for Easter???” to deafening silence in my house

Would you subscribe to a podcast where Jeff Probst whisper-describes items off of the Applebee’s menu? ApplebeeSMR #Survivor

DID Y’ALL KNOW GARLIC CAN TURN BLUE WHEN EXPOSED TO AN ACID FOR TOO LONG

BECAUSE I JUST OPENED THE OVEN AND THOUGHT WHAT IN THE FOOD FIGHT FEAST FROM HOOK

Happy to report that my legacy will be “fun mom that hits all the curbs”

watched real housewives with closed captioning and now present to you the following types of music found in the housewives genre

[gentle music]
[tense music]
[gentle tense music]
[quirky music]

It’s harmless. I think. Oh no.

A lovely pic with @thejenna.bsky.social and then a lovelier reaction shot to me saying I have a dead tooth

I was supposed to go to bed, but now I am watching part two of a reunion of a reality show that I have never seen NOR have I seen part one of said reunion

Good morning! last day at PAX, so please come by the Jackbox stage and play games with us! Also we have one more panel at 2:30 est!

took the opportunity to cosplay this year at PAX East as the super recognizable “girl with giant ball of twine on her head who misunderstood the assignment in the 1999 film Drop Dead Gorgeous” (and Tim is a beautiful Jedi)

already off to a great start

I should go to bed BUT Madame Web just started on tv and I’ve never seen it

The second episode Kokomo, Indiana storyline might actually be a Christopher Guest movie

Just started watching Neighbors and it’s like having a fun panic attack

Correction: a dear friend has informed me that this is actually Sean Connery as King Richard in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

This is wild because the restaurant is named “Arthur’s”

At a restaurant that was King Arthur themed (duh) and was delighted to inform my oblivious family that this gorgeous painting on the wall was not just any King Arthur, but Sean Connery as King Arthur from First Knight (1995)