LinkedIn is like if the 8th circle of hell was a networking party.

I wouldn't piss on that guy if he was on fire.

I'd throw a blanket over him and roll him on the ground, then call an ambulance.

Seriously, what kind of perverted first aid training did you get?

Time travel has really taken procrastination to the next level.

I did not see "Hoppers" this past weekend, but you should. See it this past weekend, I mean. Scientists will eventually develop time travel. It will take centuries, but it will happen. Leave a note for future time travelers to come back and get you, then pop back a few days. You're welcome.

I almost had it!!!!! #framedwtf

This flu feels like I've been run over by a very soft bus.

So damn close! #framedwtf

Joke’s on you! I’m already broke and in prison!

How did I never notice that Kirsti Noem's kevlar is a crop top?

Cocaine kills, Kash.

Pro tip for etsy sellers: If you put the word "Tactical" in front of anything, you can charge MAGAs 50% more for it.

Media execs take note.

Pretty sure the people he needs to convince think “bulwark” is a brand of cattle prod.

How did I get it so wrong?? #framedwtf

Yeah, it seems like this problem haunts every major fandom on earth. The solution is to not like anything ever!

Funyuns are neither. Discuss.

One of the images you're guaranteed to see if you make it to the Pop Cultured With Jimmy Pardo show at the Pasadena Ice House this Saturday! #truth #elonmuskwithadickonhisface
www.showclix.com/event/ice-ho...

Shameless self-promo! I'm lucky to be head writer for the live comedy game show "Pop Cultured with Jimmy Pardo." This Saturday's guests are Kevin Pollak, Andy Daly, and Andrea Jin. At the Pasadena Ice House, Sat 2/7 at 7PM! If you miss it you will suck! Truth!

www.showclix.com/event/ice-ho...

They say Trump's name appears over 38,000 times in the new batch of Ep$tein files. To give you some idea of what a huge number that is, if you said the word "Trump" once per second 38,000 times, it would take you 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 20 seconds. Go try it. I'll wait.

DAMN IT! #framedwtf

Everybody!

Jo really shines in this one. And it's a great idea, but man, such a strange story, bouncing from sci-fi to diplomatic intrigue to prison riot drama back to sci-fi. A ton of ideas packed into one story that could only work in an episodic format, and only work in the 70s. :)

Now get in there and FIGHT! Don't be squishy-spined like your counterparts in DC.

Catherine O’Hara Dies: Beloved ‘Schitt’s Creek’, ‘SCTV’, ‘Home Alone’ Actor Was 71 Catherine O’Hara, the beloved, multi-award-winning actor, writer and comedian died today at her home in Los Angeles following a brief illness. She was 71. O’Hara launched her extraordinary career as o...

Oh f*** no! Not Catherine O'Hara! She was one of the funniest, most brilliant people on the planet. Just go back and watch everything from her SCTV characters to Moira on Shitt's Creek, and you. can see her comedic genius in all it's beautiful glory. This hits hard. :(

deadline.com/2026/01/cath...

I am taking a time out from outrage for the next four hours. But I'm sure I'll get back in the game quickly enough.

Thank you, Judy! And don't approve any spending bill that includes a single dollar for ICE!

DAMNIT! I was so close! #framedwtf

It was predictably snubbed by the Academy.

Always glad to bring a little ugly laughter into this beautiful world.

See? Trump was right. Tariffs are a *great* negotiating tactic... um... to help other countries.