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Coming to terms that I am legit disabled in some ways is humbling. I just got a shower stool because my fall risk is increasing. I am so happy. I am going to live in my shower now.
I am not okay. I am full of grief. I am sad. I am hurt, and all those dumb things that come with a lot of loss in a short period of time. But I am still trundling along.
Doing things at my own pace with no expectations. It sucks, but meh. Life sucks so whatever.
Back up to full dose of meds... here is hoping I don't have another seizure tonight
It has a very 80s vibe. Is the head clogged?
Fuck fucking epilepsy. Why does my fucking brain have to be so dumb. Got a new med to add to the mix since surgery was taken off the table. They wanted me to half my epilepsy meds to see what would happen. Well I pissed the bed and I feel like I got hit by a bus. Fuck this shit.
Crystal meth, Adderall, tomato, tomato >_>
Praise be to whatever scientist invented baclofen. My back and ribs rejoice to not be spasming out every three seconds! *bliss*
My body is in so much pain right now. But I have so much left to do. Ugh. At least my brother is supposed to come over today so he can help me lift the heavier things.
And on that note there is something very rude about shoving a swiffer duster into a skull's mouth
How much dust can one house accumulate? The anwser? Yes. Simply... yes.... I am glad I am doing this before my spring allergies really get going otherwise I may die
I cannot stress enough how happy I am that the world has saw fit to make blood candy for people like me who are anemic and don't absorb traditional iron well. Nom nom nom.
Finding new rhythms after so long is tough. New things I am adding are for the purposes of my kitties right now. Leaving the TV on for them so they have noise while I am gone.
Fun progress shot on my big Jem and the Holograms piece "Synergy's Nightmare" part of a much larger comp!!! I am booking now! Life is changing and I need people in my seat PM me for rates and location!!
This image shows an extracted adult tooth inside a sterile bag with a clear front. The roots of the tooth are intact and are still bloody. It shows clear demarcation of tooth decay and a very large cavity. There are crumbs of debris and one small shard of tooth beside the roots and several small scenes of blood. Though it is not excessive it is still very alarming looking.
Picture of the tooth I had extracted today. Ow. Glad it's gone!
Tooth blowing up. Joy. Emergency trip to dentist tomorrow. Fml.
Wow, Bewhiskered bowing to puritan pressure. *sips tea* isn't that something.
See i was just coming here to say that. Blood pooling is a thing expecially with an injury. His makeup artist is a ninny.
Oh god and starscream and the jettwins! Heeeeeeeee
Transformers animated? My god.... this brings me back! My OTP from this show is Prowl and lockdown. Holy fucking shit the chemistry they have???? Unnnghhhhhhh so good.
No. They knew that. I knew that too. But they represented a whole of something that has been a blockage for months now. The end result? They heard my pain, they understand the situation and stress in full. And movement is being made. In the right direction. Now I feel like I need a nap.
I got to yell at someone today. Like scream at them. It felt amazing. Why? I warned them it was going to happen. They gave me full permission to do it. I got to let go, get it all out. And for the first time in a very long time I was heard. Was I angry at the person I yelled at specifically?
Todays heart rate is 52. I feel so tired and exhausted. My apointment didn't show up. My head hurts. Chiari Malformations are fantastic.
Coming to terms with the fact that I am actually disabled, that I actually do have a chronic and debilitating illness I have been trying to fight through and mask the whole of my adult life is very difficult. Like... am I allowed to... rest? I feel like I can't still.
concepting out book characters, this one is Leif Davidson. The main protag of my Book series pendulum. 23 year old ex-Olympian runner turned mail carrier Omega who winds up in the middle of a supernatural war.
Stupid pain that should not exist: parting your hair a little differently than normal. Where my current part is feels like I have slammed my head against a wall... repeatedly.
Brain is exploding again. I have my parents who care, and like 3 friends who legit care. And that seems to be it. Not even my partner can be asked to even really look up what I have been going through since June. One day I want actual love.
My new General practice doctor looked at me like I was crazy yesterday when I told her I had thallisemia. This morning I got a call from her announcing that I indeed did have thallisemia... as if this was supposed to be news to me somehow >_>
