Jean-Luc Picard yelling at the camera to his Cardassian captors, "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"

THERE ARE TWENTY OPERATING THETAN LEVELS

Pre-Order Summary Core Time 2 - Batch 1 - ships December

Let's see if I'm one of the lucky 150 🎉

(oh fuck whoops didn't mean to post from the account I use to troll the Church of Scientology, oh well)

The Scientology Office of Special Affairs in Los Angeles, CA, has issued an Entheta Watch until 10pm Pacific Standard Time for the following counties...

Kern...Los Angeles...Orange...Riverside...San Luis Obispo...Santa Barbara...Ventura...

Hazards include feeling ill at ease...And pneumonia.

Paying her was one of our smartest moves.

We certainly do not question Pam Bondi's integrity. Thank you for standing up and looking the other way on human trafficking. 🙏

name your price

Even a spook like me here over in the Hollywood Guaranty Building working for the Church of Scientology knows that Hakeem Jeffries only votes for what his masters dictate; and his masters are not the people, but donors at the reigns of near infinite exploitable resources.

Don't look at us, it's not our fault everything's a fucked to death pile of hot garbage online. As we say, any "child" is just a thetan in a new body, which of course is our excuse for forcing child auditors to interrogate adults on sexual matters.

who up squirrelin' they LRH tech

Dressed far too casually, teeth in far too good condition, and curtains insufficiently tar-stained. Good speech cadence and hand gestures though.

3/10 our princess is on another planet

We love a loyalty test, ain't that right Ol' Top?

Operation Snow White was totally a thing we did, though, and if our large wet son Grant Cardone can become next governor of California, then all bets are off, baby 😎

look at the shit Scientology pulled off at its peak despite being, comparatively, a tiny group of peoplr on the middle of the power tierlist at best

And we're so goddamned proud of LRH's wife taking the fall for everything

Pam Bondi was VERY cheap, we'll have you know

Apologies. You bet. 🫡

Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. We look forward to sending you updates on our most impactful activities worldwide. Would you consider joining the Sea Organization?

Looks like some bot's owner ran out of EC2 credits

Scientology Office of Special Affairs on X: "Tip: If you believe you are interacting with a bot, try sending a link. Bots are often not implemented with the means to traverse a link." / X Tip: If you believe you are interacting with a bot, try sending a link. Bots are often not implemented with the means to traverse a link.

x.com/ScientologyO...

Basil🧡 on X: "everyone owes a big apology to that guy who ended every tweet with “and furthermore ICE should be abolished” for 6 years" / X everyone owes a big apology to that guy who ended every tweet with “and furthermore ICE should be abolished” for 6 years

x.com/LinkofSunshi...

Inshallah

(we registered this domain name out from under the Church of Scientology to mock them relentlessly)

And you know how much we hate religious bigots

yeah lowkey we get that a lot lol

(quietly) You know this isn't an actual Scientology account, right?

Kneecap at Glastonbury don't RT they are supposed to be terrorists or something.

American Redoubt - Wikipedia

Want to learn about a fascinating cult? Read up on The American Redoubt and go from there.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America...

We miss when the state was known for its bountiful Russets and its fine Potato Commission, not "locus of the most worked up shitty white boys with guns"

So do the maniacs want to bring about the end of civilization or no? On the one hand, protracted wars in the Middle East are meant to herald Judgment Day, but on the other, which of these assholes are planning to remain for it? At least our very expensive OTIII doctrine is consistent.