Thinking about the same thing. Motorcycle and like, not coming back.

I saw this, and I love logical analogies.

Florida mentioned 😀

one great mystery of our age is how the only way to motivate rich people to work is to give them loads of money for no reason but the only way to motivate poor people to work is to take away loads of their money for no reason

I'm the bastard who loves the taste of diesel fumes and lead -- and you better believe I campaigned to make this bad boy default to "off"

NBC, Trump’s long time partner, censored Elon Musk’s Nazi salute.

Top is the censored NBC version and the bottom is the live version.

Censored version: youtu.be/Q04JXqpYYsE

Trump outs Elon Musk for rigging the US election. Note, Elon does not have a pardon.

Even pre 2020, cops have never helped when I call.

It's only got 10k downloads tho. Meta seems to be doing a good job at keeping it's monopoly :(

But you should keep it in good working condition. Otherwise it's just another rusty bike. I suggest riding it around daily. You know, just to keep the chain moving and whatnot. If there's a problem you'll know about it sooner. No other reason you should ride a bike daily. None at all. 😉

On this day I have achieved sandwich perfection.
Used the last of the bread
The last of the peanut butter
And the last of the jelly
It was bound to happen eventually, maybe I'll live long enough for it to align this way one more time.

Zoomers need to learn the difference between lock screen and screensaver. I have become old tech man, yelling at cloud.

Trans people picking new names

Remember kids, the gender neutral term for landlord/landlady is parasite.

#themoreyouknow

It's beautiful

There's a cute boy in my arms, but my arm is fully asleep. I didn't need that arm anyway.

Who's turn is it to charge the eels this month? I'm fresh out of car batteries.

Being bored at work while cheerleader is blasting in my ears. Yeah that's a vibe. Porter on here yet?

During discovery he's gonna find out the numbers were not messed with and he actually just lost that bad. Gonna feel like losing a second time.

Absolutely not. The yeeyee calls, but we do not answer.

Shout-out sky follower bridge. That was easy.

I wish everyone had this skill. Looking at you boomers.

Hello world

What are we calling these btw? It's not a tweet that's for sure.