Supreme Court rules for Michigan in its fight to shut down an aging energy pipeline The Supreme Court has sided with Michigan in ruling that the state’s lawsuit seeking to shut down a section of an aging pipeline beneath a Great Lakes channel will stay

Hey they actually called one right!

Strangers With Candy.

I've never touched my Tonight Show money. $0.00 is very difficult to touch.

Screenshot from Infowars: "The Onion has fraudulently claimed AGAIN (all caps) that it owns Infowars".

#theonion #infowars

I guess Alex sees it differently. I do hope that he is delusional about this as well.

Tim Apple noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Well, his replacement certainly has some average-sized shoes to fill. #timapple #timcook

My biggest problem with him was all of the impaling.

Yes, every human also requires a trailing vehicle to follow them.

Best way to inflict psychological trauma on your dental hygienist and dentist.

Lightning fared a little better than this unnamed guy, perhaps named Thunder, but Blunder, et al, would be more appropriate.
Click below to see the inspiring video.

Lake Michigan, Lake Huron levels surging: You won’t believe the gallons of water added during this flooding Based on the master water level gauge on Lake Huron, we can come up with an estimate of how much water has recently poured into Lake Michigan and Lake Huron.

It is estimated that rain and snowmelt have raised level of Lakes Michigan/Huron by 17" since the middle of March. This translates to an estimated 13.6 trillion gallon of water.

"Folks, people are saying that's a lot, I'm hearing that it's a lot, but I've seen more than that, much much more."

An AI-generated ad with two misspellings: the word "prices" is spelled p-r-o-c-e-s and the word "catch" is spelled c-a-t-c-h.

I can't seem to ever carch the low proces when they're available.

This is the most human a robot has ever been

Alternate take: I finally know what the phrase "death rattle" means.

Chiang Kai-Shek was the first MAO inhibitor.

I heard he was treated for minor abrasions and released.

Tippi Longstocking lives in all our hearts

‘Absolute tank’ of a snapping turtle rescued from Lake Michigan surf after wandering shoreline for days Doug the Tank was being tumbled around by waves when an animal sanctuary volunteer found him.

News that actually doesn't suck:

The family surname was Asphyxiaters when the ancestors arrived at Ellis Island.

Tell L’Oréal Paris to get risky chemicals out of hair dyes Tell L’Oréal Paris to get risky chemicals out of hair dyes

More like Hair Die amirite?

Q: What did the anxious Aussie say when presented with unpleasant information?

A: "Worries"

And certainly these pretenders go right on by as well.

I'm sure the topic will come up on his talkshow.

I read somewhere that there's this guy, Hugh Briss, who has some thoughts on his plan. ¡Viva CRIME!

Oh large, consumer-facing companies, you're the best!

# of customers asked for feedback: every

# of responses to requests: thousands

# of improvements made from feedback: 0

If Spotify's Shuffle feature was around in the old west, it would have thousands of cowboys pointing their six-shooters at it, accusing it of hornswoggling.

Meeting with the C suite today, so I'm sitting on a moist towelette.

So hold on a second. The purpose of an induction range isn't to prepare food that induces vomiting? Then why the hell are so many of our guests puking all the time?

If you are having a terrible day, always remember that today is one day closer than yesterday to the day IT happens.

Once-Adventurous Salmon Can’t Believe She Ended Up Moving Back To Birthplace, Having A Bunch Of Kids

Once-Adventurous Salmon Can’t Believe She Ended Up Moving Back To Birthplace, Having A Bunch Of Kids theonion.com/once-adventurous-salmon-...

I had one of those, circa 1994, but long dead. It's possible I still have some media, was always hard to find in US.