hi guyz

god mumford and sons is such trash

notes app screenshot of a list, which reads as follows: things millennials have tricked me into - attending a silent disco at a craft brewery on new years eve - attending a silent disco at a craft brewery for st patricks day - traveling to indiana - [ATTEMPTED] taking my dogs to the disease and accident factory they call a "dog park" - thinking i'm a bad dog owner for not taking my dogs to the disease and accident factory they call a "dog park" - thinking side parts are flattering on me in any way - spending $8.50 plus tax on a single beer

i'm making a list

i'm back to making music unfortunately

Are you going to finish that? On unfinished projects and the pain of creating

new post on substack if ur a freak like that
open.substack.com/pub/fatherwh...

water with a splash of cran, i call this baby the uti buster

they call me the tailor bc of how i thread the needle. if u even care.

posted from my place of full time employment as i'm fully sober btw

hitting a blinker and looking at analog speakers on facebook marketplace to build a wall of sound in the basement of my rental duplex

they call me a bartender bc i tend bar

when i grow up i want to be a computer program

texas flipping blue just as the prophecy foretold

ppl are gonna crucify me for this but honestly it's cheesecake

the masses would rather watch a movie about a convict welded into a submarine for two hours than a biopic on the first lady of the united states and you know what? that's beautiful and also based

one must imagine sisyphus #opentowork

wait no way i also saw this yesterday

gimme one of those jbl speakers dudes used to blast out of their backpacks in middle school and we will soar to new heights of obnoxiousness

niche internet microcryptid

why don't i have a verified badge despite having no meaningful public figure status and leaving no lasting impressions upon the digital space

but he doesn't mean it

changed my pfp and @ but it's still me... the same ole gremlinmichael...

i want to be perceived as an ambiguous creature but unfortunately for me i have big ole doe eyes and massive honkers

just learned about a certain casting decision in the fuckass joker sequel

this MAN was licking the couch and stopped when the camera was on him bc he doesn't want yall to believe me

did a double take when i saw this bc she looks so much like my vixy girl

he's just a baby :(

i don't know anything about marvel rivals but seeing that little shark in any sort of distress fills me with animalistic rage

if you’re having a bad morning just think that you could be the person in the philadelphia office of emergency management who sent out a citywide text alert with a link to chubbyparade dot com

chat are we so back

"proof?" no i deleted it :)