a woman wearing headphones is sitting in front of a microphone and says i totally would ALT: a woman wearing headphones is sitting in front of a microphone and says i totally would

it’s like “i totally don’t but

sometimes, if people double and triple down on something for years, when it turns out they are wrong, they will plug their ears

I used to do this job for them. They canned my entire department and sent the jobs to India and Thailand. I guess even that is too expensive for them now

that blender is P A I N T E D

🔥 🔥

same reason they put the rotisserie chickens at the back of Costco

this sounds like the Planet Fitness I go to. Every machine is just a chair for a GenZ to sit on and look at their phone

OK yes the rain relented so I stopped in a random parking lot and dropped some snot on the wet pavement so sue me

in case you were wondering yes I’m talking about blowing hot air on my balls

Bonus dad titties

too rainy and chilly for the park tonight.

I think I will just head straight home and celebrate 4/20 while it’s still 4/20

😂😂 I am a clown so that’s kind of how I talk to everybody

I am bald, but I think I’m going to get a hairdryer:

1 sex please

why do complete strangers message you on the apps and open with, “what are you doing?“

Like why would I tell a complete stranger what I’m doing?

I love to hear it. I used to know these straight guys that liked to get fucked sometimes because it was the best way to hit it

you always have 72 hours, but they are best claimed within 69

same. I don’t know how people eat entire motherboards

I would never! (I mean I would never make noise. Definitely the other thing)

it’s very therapeutic if you are feeling self-conscious about a zit on your thigh to get up on a box in front of a room full of 100 people and pull your pants down and bend over. literally nobody will notice or care

I work in my music studio. Somehow, I can just change the lighting and it turns into a different room for me.

shit is getting real. There’s the whole thing

I got this random message around 3

*becomes aroused by your song*

I accidentally got both of my big huge big fat enormous big cheeks out in the woods

Full video you know where

a man and a woman are looking at each other and the man is asking " both " ALT: a man and a woman are looking at each other and the man is asking " both "

uhhh

fuck you (threateningly flirtatious)

I don’t know how I forgot you were crazy hot but