A screenshot of an email from the Philadelphia Phillies

You have a lot of nerve contacting me rn.

I went to Trader Joe’s because I thought it wouldn’t be too busy with the rain.

So did everyone else.

a cartoon of spongebob and patrick saying " i ll be taking that " Alt: a cartoon of spongebob and patrick saying " i ll be taking that "

Not me hoping some kid “forgets” their Phanatic bobblehead.

Things that help calm the nervous system, quickly:

- Box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat)
- Immerse your face in cold water (activates mammalian dive reflex)
- Humming (stimulates vagus nerve)
- Exercise (anything helps, outside even better)
- Impeachment and removal

At this point, if Pennywise tries to lure me into the sewer, I’m going.

I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE SHED UNLESS WE HAVE PIZZA ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT

[mom sighs, rolls her eyes, writes "pizza rolls" on the grocery list for next week]

I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO BURN DOWN THE SHED

All House Dems (and Senators) should sign on to this.

The world's economic and strategic fate is at the whim of a madman.

Holy shit.

Sherlock Holmes LEGO set

Sherlock Holmes LEGO set

Sherlock Holmes LEGO set

At least I finished my Lego set before the world goes to shit.

A picture of Alex Jones with the subtitle: “how do we 25th amendment his ass?”: Alex jones openly calls for Trump’s removal

In today’s edition of “The Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point” …

PLAY THE SONG...

oh wait.

PAY THE KALAS FAMILY, YOU CHEAP FUCK.

So Andrew Painter is like the Oscar Piastri of the Phillies.

A wooden bingo board for Phillies baseball

It’s time for baseball bingo. 💙⚾️❤️

I already miss Strahm.

An old man sits on a tree trunk with a bunch of young kids sitting around him listening.

…and there was a rewards program for buying cigarettes. You could spend your “Marlboro Miles” on anything from a keychain to a canoe.

a man in a blue sweater is jumping in the air with the nbc logo on the bottom Alt: a man in a blue sweater is jumping in the air with the nbc logo on the bottom

There is a campaign going on Reddit where we’re sending candy buttons to the head of NBC programming. We can. We will. We must!

a woman is standing in front of a bookshelf and smiling while saying ty . Alt: a woman is standing in front of a bookshelf and smiling while bowing .

Why thank you!

Oh just in the air! Rolling your foot with the lacrosse ball is its own thing. Start with just 30 seconds to a minute with the rolling.

And thanks!

Was also going to recommend a lacrosse ball. I’ve been dealing with arch / PTTD issues for two years now. I highly recommend calf raises as well. And write the alphabet with your ankles.

Show somebody who absolutely rocks a hat and isn’t Indiana Jones

*no one said it couldn’t be a selfie

a woman blowing out a candle on a birthday cake with nbc written on the bottom Alt: a woman blowing out a candle on a birthday cake with her fingers crossed

I’m not nearly as active on socials as I used to be, but if you’re looking for a new show, please consider Stumble (Peacock & NBC). It’s funny with a lot of heart. And currently on the bubble.

#SaveStumble

A white woman wearing a green cap and a got green patty o’ green t-shirt

I only keep this t-shirt for today. This 47 year old still loves Strawberry Shortcake. 🍀

I love making adult decisions.

Like eating an entire box of macaroni and cheese by myself.

I will not skip baseball season, Kevin!

An arrow pointing at “spring of deception” in a list of seasons

Just as a reminder, we are here.

An image that reads: Phillies Phillies Partial Season All-Star Ticket Offer Order Confirmation You’re All Set!

All-Star game tickets required. 💁🏼‍♀️

A skeleton dog with a stuffed bottle of Jameson in its mouth.

I’m especially proud of the dog toy.

An inflatable rainbow in front of a 12 foot tall skeleton. Everything is covered in snow.

A rainbow inflatable in front of a 12 foot tall skeleton and 7 foot long skeleton dog.

Yesterday, we could finally see grass, so we put out the St. Patrick’s Day decorations.

What could go wrong?

A can of 2SP Wawa stout.

My very last Wawa 2SP Stout. One final delicious pour. 🥲

Like this level of respectful?