Absolutely never 😢

But Farmer! Wants a WIFE!

Every single inning break!

Idk I kinda want to watch Farmer Wants a Wife now

RAISED SO FAR $405,336 OUR GOAL $1,000,000 TOTAL DONORS 1291

I can’t feel my face

you could watch this happen live using ais tracking yesterday and you could almost hear the captains yelling leeeerrrrrooooooy jeeeeennnnnkiiiiiins

Pronouncing “Groot” like when people pronounce “root” to rhyme with “foot”

The Rockies spent the whole game trolling Dalton Rushing he might have to retire

Bus typo: Help us score the gift of life, DONATE BLOOB

BLOOB FOR THE BLOOB GOD!

Immediately became a staple at Casa Minda!

Not everything from Costco makes sense for a small household but these definitely do!

400 degrees for like 35 minutes. Broil at the end if you feel like it

Make them with Costco frozen salmon OR with Costco chicken sausage

The Costco sheet pan vegetables that are preseasoned are ridiculously good

(she's almost 2, that's how)

"wipe the changing table. Get it nice and clean!"

How does my infant suddenly speak in full sentences all the time

a two panel meme panel 1 - geordi signalling 'no' with the text data centres and images of data centres Panel 2 - geordi signalling 'yes' with the text "data centaurs" and a crudely edited image of the character data from star trek pasted on top of a centaur

do you ever wake up at 3am and think "shit that's a good idea, I better write that down so I can share it later on"

Exactly one year ago today:

What

Sonny Gray facing Tristan Gray in a baseball match

Gray
Gray

TROUT WEATHERS

bears wake up in spring because it’s good

Steamed Hams full transcript Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. - Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour. Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect. - Uh-huh. Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. " Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. - For steamed hams. - Yes. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. - Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis. - Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes. - May I see it? No. Seymour. ! The house is on fire. ! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Today is officially the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams. On April 14, 1996, "22 Short Films About Springfield" aired for the first time!

This would’ve been a great place to raise a family, but instead a wealthy couple will collect egregious amounts of passive income from bachelorette parties. Reference #32487

Real Estate: Never Mind, It’s An Airbnb Now

Penrose stairs

Anyone notice it feels like this lately

The Baby asked for some Goldfish with her dinner and now she is breaking each cracker into thirds and dropping them on the floor. I believe the dog put her up to this

Yesterday my thirteen year old cousin told me he likes to go fishing because it is “mad nonchalant” and so I thanked him for the new addition to my vernacular

Being into cats feels so debasing. You give everything over to this animal — time, labor, money — but when you want them to sit next to you, they refuse and jump away. When they finally sit on your lap, you sit motionless to the point of physical pain, afraid to disturb them. Humiliating.

Have you ever tried just laying on the floor with your pets when you get overwhelmed? Really something to it. They may be onto something.

You didn't say that and I didn't nod when I read it. Or didn't read it. 🙉 😉

I have so much housework to catch up on but my asthma is like HAHAHAH NO