plantains implies the existence of spontaneoustains

Listen, Old Man. You see that couch in the corner? I’m going to fuck it, and I’m going to make you watch me fuck it. There’s nothing you can do to stop me because I’m the Vice President of the United States

When I was growing up autistic kids were "hyper" or "had water on the brain" and there was always a raft of "weird kids" who were socially ostracized because they had a hard time people-ing. If you don't think autism existed before it was commonly called "autism," it's because you chose not to see.

“The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few, or many, and whether hereditary, self-appointed, or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.”

— James Madison, The Federalist No. 47

Reject biological essentialism

Promote enby liberties and our inalienable right to go to Jupiter, college, both or neither. We are free to get more knowledge, or more stupider wherever we please.

sorry, pronouns in bio triggered us so hard we had to become a fascist dictatorship over it

Folks help me out, what pasta shape is the tastiest shape?

I said spiral has a good sauce capacity, but I think there's more to it than that. Shape influences the taste, I don't know how or why but it does.

What do you think is the most tasty shape of pasta?

If true rhymes with poo
And it true rhymes with bamboo
And if true rhymes with kangaroo...

Then that implies there's no limit to the difference in length between the two words...

Which means true rhymes with Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

dirty old raccoon having a classic dr. manhattan-style existential crisis poking his scruffy head out of a metal trashcan and disassociating

i am tired of earth.

these people.

i am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.

Definitely the chirrup-meow that means "oh hi it's you! I didn't see you but I'm so happy you're here!"

Prrrrrrriaow 🐱

what's wrong babe, you've hardly touched today's heap of apocalyptic news headlines

This is what the government did with 120K+ Japanese Americans in 1942.

I know. I was there in those camps.

The USA has had two major plane crashes in the last 4 days.

The USA had previously not suffered a major plane crash for 16 years.

‘DEI’ programs have existed for decades.

So what was it that changed in the last 14 days or so to suddenly cause so many crashes?

My 2 year old saw this picture and excitedly declared "Look! Chicken!" so the appeal is universal ❤️

I'm not sure I follow. Musk did that salute because it represents things he believes, not because he's autistic.

Though I am a little concerned some people might start to believe all autistic people are liable to do that specific gesture at any time.

For avoidance of doubt, I fucking hate Nazis.

Every so often I'll feel brave and tell a new person I'm autistic, sometimes just working it into a conversation like it's any other detail. Here's how that's gone -

1) "Yeah I knew 3 seconds after I met you"
2) "Well yes we all know *you're* autistic!"
3) "I already know, your badges told me!"

Continuing to exist, as a bit.

That checks out 🤣😭
It really is the worst club 💞

Ohhhhhh suddenly this all makes sense, thankyou for joining the dots! I always think oncoming storms don't affect my migraines until I'm suffering for "no reason" and someone else joins the dots for me!

It behaved properly for another year after that. Check if your label remover spray affects the plastic finish on the keys first but otherwise might be worth a try. Good luck!

I had a laptop come to me with sticking keys, managed to clean off the contacts underneath with label remover spray - literally sprayed about half a can into the gaps between keys while enthusiastically bopping at the affected keys. Hold the laptop by one corner and it all drained out, no damage...

I’m sorry who gifts eight maids a-milking but no cow

The only possible acceptable derivative work is a headstone that reads
"Lived, Laughed, Toaster Bathed"

…and as always, sex work is real work and sex workers should be protected at all costs

"WHAT DO WE KER-WANT?"
- "Broad recognition of our cultural and linguistic uniqueness, acceptance of our associated identity"

"WHEN DO WE KER-WANT IT?"
- "Oh I see now, sorry... KERNOW!"

Eleanor Rigby says hang in there everyone. In the end, kindness, intelligence and cool heads always prevail.

527 thousand and forty minutes
How do we measure
Measure a leap year

Sometimes I skeet and am unrelated email comes in almost immediately, and every single time I think "oh shit did I just get banned" and then I remember this is Bluesky and I can say shit like "Elon Musk is a whiny little cis baby" without getting suspended.

If I very confidently announce that I’m on this platform, as if people ought to know who I am, and then ask everyone to repost me so that the public can find me, a person they have definitely heard of and want to find, what are the chances of that working? Shall we give it a go?