“My hungry ass could never be a surgeon.”

She’s sitting on a couch and staring at the ceiling, her eyes are almost blood red

“…Doctor Who is British Tokusatsu…”

She’s getting hit with a hose stream

“Bad croc! Ah!”

“I can’t tell you, like legally.”

She takes out a lighter and starts to burn it

“Since this is one of the few holidays I actively observe, it’s time to smoke some of the good shit.”

Whatever is in her rolling paper looks like glittery Cheetos.

She nibbles on it before vanishing, taking the sandwich with her

Crisis possibly averted?

Cue the ghostly apparition of the goddess appearing

“Shorty, I need one of those damn fine sandwiches to make me not unleash an Anti Horny Disease on the world.”

“…Oh fuck we are gonna give them SlowFast.”

“Love you Forde.”

“Did…Did you get off to making an army?”

“There’s too much sex today

I think it’s time to release my airborne disease that completely destroys people’s sex drives.”

“Just remember that folks, every god you see is based off a real person in some reg- AAAAAH AAAAAH OH GOD!”

Oh hey the sun set her on fire

“Oh Bastet has specifically modeled herself off of Taokaka. A lot of gods do that. I’m based of Cleopatra in some regards

Ra’s based on some Floridian.”

“Mods, unleash the Bastetlings.”

“Not Even Forde?”

“I hate that the deer didn’t kill me. Healing these internal burns sucks because I can’t just splash water on it.”

🐍”Please just eat the apple sauce Sobek.”

“…fine.”

“Because it took my sandwich

Damn all deer to a million more years of being eaten by crocs.”

“The Deer Won, Spider Hyphen Man.”

She points her tongue in the direction of a television, where a deer appears to be…shooting lightning from its antlers at some thugs

“The Deer Won.”

She’s in a full body cast

“If he disappears, I’ll personally shapeshift to match him, and that’s not a joke

Call that Down to Earth Day.”

Sobek appears to be boxing with a deer. Not even a godly deer or some modified one, just the wild animal. It appears to be a stalemate.

“Oh god I never should have ate that food…”

Her crocodile form looks like an overinflated balloon, a crater below her where she transformed

🐍”Well I brought Sobek out, and now she’s eating every item in the Taco Bell menu.”

It’s almost magical how the croc’s shoving entire burritos in her mouth with one motion. Some even still have paper on them

🐍”You joke about the pear Wiggler all the time, you can’t give me that look.”

The sarcophagus has tipped forward from Sobek’s thrashing

🐍”Remeber folks, if your wife is being a condescending prick, it’s ok to talk to her calmly and change the behavior

I won’t do that, instead I’m exploiting Sobek’s claustrophobia and locking her in a sarcophagus.”

There’s audible screaming from inside.

((Hey folks, im porting a Lancer OC i have here for those that want to see me write a much more down to earth character

“Damn Eve I didn’t know you had a Ty- GUYUUUUH!”

Oh hey, looks like REN’s finally had enough of the condescending comments and is trying to choke her

((Hey folks, im porting a Lancer OC i have here for those that want to see me write a much more down to earth character

“Man, I love this stuff…”

She’s watching the original Gundam movies to get an idea for what she could do with mech materials.