Silly Bill(y)

Have started doing more cardio and I just end up very sweaty very quickly

Didn’t you finish at lunchtime on a Friday before that though??

I couldn’t beat the high you‘re on from winning £30 at the bingo

Would like to buy myself a little treat so suggestions of little quality of life improvement products that are Amazon-able and up to about £50 welcome

Autocorrect fucked me over in this thread

Hope this helps colour in your mental picture of our relationship.

So now we sometimes say “did an indian make that” when talking about AI.

For background/inside joke explanation purposes, “a indian” (“a” not “an”) is said because remember that time Amazon said they were using AI for the till-less camera filled stores but turns out it was actually an office of people in India working out what you bought? By AI they meant “a indian”.

For those of you interested in the inner workings of our lives we just had a conversation about this post which started with the phrases “did you make that with an indian?” and ended with “call me a woman in stem!”

Why are the most chalant people in the gym the ugliest too??

Made it

Yes (however I’ve since been informed I could’ve just pushed the door and it would’ve opened rather than me going down three floors to the restaurant toilets)

My new ID badge won’t let me in the toilet??

I’m halfway through an arm workout and I can’t pick my bottle up 😭

Really looking forward to Italy with the besties in August 🕶️

Torn between the comment of “weird flex but okay” and “exactly what a friend or victim would say” but not sure if either of those are in bad taste??

Hi Ken but okay, I’m Oliver.

Thanks Raye.

Auditioning to take over from Carol Kirkwood?

Was apprehensive about being more…robust… with our solicitors then remembered we’re paying them a considerable amount of money to send a few emails

I’m doing the gayest treadmill incline walk ever to Summerboy

Doing legs for the first time in a while and I feel sick

Okay but don’t buy that one then????

Hi weak, I’m Oliver

Think I just uttered a sentence no human has ever said before:

“Did I tell you my toothbrush crashed and rebooted while I was using it yesterday?”

Washed the new car for the first time and forgot how much dirt shows up on a white car

I was such an arsehole to them for wasting our time, someone else was like “I know you said you could be direct but that was a bit much”

Effectively just called someone a liar in an interview